Perspective on living with depression

Two posts in blogland have spoken to me recently on a very deep, emotional level. They were written by a husband and wife pair. Heather's contribution is about living with depression and her adventures with medication and wonderful things it has done for her. Jon's contribution is about living with someone who is depressed.

These are good. And yes, there is a personal reason I bring this up...which will probably be explained further in a future post.

Toddler cuteness

Despite the raging illnesses in our house, I've have seen glimpses of some darn cute kids lately. Ava is definitely in that phase where you wish you had a tape recorder going at all times. The things that come out of her mouth are sometimes hysterical, and sometimes amazing.

While at the doctor's office a few days ago, the doc came in and chose to start examining Alder first (both kids were sick and going to get checked out). So Keith started taking off Alder's clothes and the doc came over to take his temperature and Ava got REALLY upset...muttering that the "doctor is going to poke Alder". Poor kid has some obvious associations with the doctor and getting injections now. Anyway, it was both sad because she was so upset, but also endearing that she showed such strong concern for her little brother. (and no, Alder didn't get "poked" at this visit)

Today while playing on the floor with some blocks, I overheard Ava saying, "No Ant! You are supposed to be outside. You are not supposed to be inside. You better go outside!". Then she came and got me to help her take the ant outside. It struck me as amusing that she spoke to the ant so directly, as if she expected it to speak back. But I guess all her books and the few videos we let her watch do involve talking animals and bugs, so why wouldn't this ant talk back? Luckily she wasn't too attached to the ant, because I promptly squashed it.

Overall I'm really loving these stages with my kids. They are both just so fabulous. Next big challenges will probably be night potty training and FINALLY taking the pacifier away from Ava (still used at night only), and crawling for Alder and all the new challenges of babyproofing with tiny toddler toys around all the time.

Ick confirmation

Sometimes you just don't want to be right. I guess this is a lesson for me though - I should trust my instincts with my kids and illnesses, because I've been spot-on just about everytime.

Ava has croup. She's actually been much better today, but still has a touch-and-go fever and gives a good example of the cough on occasion. I expect tonight to be torture again. Because last night was the first night (so we caught it early) and croup usually peaks on night 3 or 4, we are opting to start the low-dose steriods tonight in the hopes it won't get much worse. Oh, and she's got the start of an ear infection too, but we're gonna let that run its course. Thank goodness at least her lungs were clear.

Alder has a ruptured eardrum on the left side. I was pretty sure he had an ear infection over the last week, and yesterday I saw the crusty drainage coming out of his ear. He still has the fever though, so we know the infection is still raging. We're gonna start antiobiotics since it has literally been weeks we've been battling this stuff. This will be the first antibiotics we've ever given to either kid.

Please send healthy vibes over to our corner of the world. I'm tired of this crap.

The sickness never ends

I guess it is the season, but man, this season is off to a rough start. Both kids have been sick for pretty much the entire month of December. There have been a few (maybe 3?) days of relative health, but other than that, there have been fevers, coughs, sneezes, and snot everywhere. I can't think of when they DIDN'T have a fever right now. It has been a week at least I think? Now it looks like Alder has at least one if not two ear infections, and Ava appears to have croup. Last night was TERRIBLE. We're headed to see the doctor at 1:30. Hopefully they can at least pass me some wisdom on how to juggle 2 sick kids.

White Christmas

There is real-live snow falling from the sky today. It isn't much, but it is enough to make me GRIN. We live in an area that just doesn't get snow, so this is really awesome. I wouldn't quite call it a white Christmas, but it is magical.

NORAD tracks Santa

He was in Ethiopia last I checked. Where is he now?

YouTube

Ever find yourself bored? YouTube can fill that void. Here is a great example. First, take an obscure band from some country in Europe (anyone know what language this is?). Visit YouTube and you can find their original "hit". Then this brilliant guy decides to lip sinc to it and post it on YouTube too. A hit is born. He gets so popular he does another song too. Numerous hysterical videos follow the first one though: legos, misheard lyrics, Elijah Wood (Frodo) and some monsters, Elmo and Grover, Japanese school girls, various Chipmunk versions, Chicken Little, Resident Evil (in English), American Idle, Israeli Idol, Yoda, The Lion King, etc.

My favorites are the misheard lyrics and legos.

People really have too much time on their hands, don't they.

The Birth of Baby Boy LK

The Birth of Baby Boy LK
Monday, November 26, 2007 at 12:40 PM
9 lbs 13 oz and 21.75 inches

Original due date: November 23rd

2nd baby, VBAC attempt, repeat cesarean

Mommy M had been my good friend for a couple of years now, ever since the birth of our first kids, so I was thrilled when she announced she was pregnant again. It was even more exciting when she asked me to be her doula. Yippee! Nothing could be a greater honor than to assist a friend during the birth of a child. It is simply amazing.

Mommy’s first birth was a cesarean after she dilated to 8 cm but no further. With meconium in the water, slight non-reassuring heart tones, and several hours of no dilation, the cesarean was performed with zero complications. Turns out that 9 lb 3 oz baby boy was posterior. He was born on his due date.

This pregnancy started very differently because conception happened without the help of fertility meds! Mommy also decided to search for a new care provider. Her old OB was not supportive of a VBAC, so Mommy signed on with a midwife group who attended births at Generic Hospital. The new group was very supportive and was willing to work with Mommy to give her the best chances for a VBAC.

Fast forward to the end of pregnancy. The baby was measuring large again. Mommy was ready for him to be born. Her due date (Thanksgiving Day) came and went. She had several bouts of pre-labor, but things always fizzled out after a few hours. She was somewhere around 3-4 cm dilated and 60% effaced. I tried to reassure her that though frustrating, this was important early work and that it was doing something! Finally, Mommy’s house emptied of family and she settled in and got serious about birthing this child.

On Sunday, November 25th, 3 days after her due date, Mommy was watching football with Daddy, Big Brother, and Daddy’s parents when contractions got started again. Mommy estimates they started around 4:45 pm, though she didn’t start timing them until around 5:20. At this point they were 4-8 minutes apart and 35-60 seconds long. I had called her earlier in the day, just to check in and say hello. She called me back at around 6:45, but I had to return her call just a little bit later. At 7:10, we got to talk and she filled me in. She said these contractions were definitely strongly than anything she had felt so far, and at that point they’d been going on for about 2.5 hours. I suggested she call her midwives and let them know what was going on, and see what they thought she should do. Mommy feared heading to the hospital and having everything stop, but I felt it was important to get the midwife’s perspective on this. She made the call, and they encouraged her to come in. With the VBAC, they wanted to make sure that if this WAS it, she was monitored closely for her safety and the safety of her baby. I asked Mommy to call me when they were parking at the hospital and if the contractions were still coming strong, I was going to go ahead and leave.

At 8:15 pm, Mommy gave me a quick call and said they’d just arrived at the hospital and things were still going strong. I told her I would leave in about 20 minutes, and asked them to call me back once she was checked and we knew if the hospital would be keeping her or sending her home. By 8:40 pm, I was out the door and on my way to the city.

At 9:00 I got a call from Daddy. He said Mommy was 4-5 cm and about 90% effaced, so they were staying at the hospital. WAHOO!!! This was it! I arrived at 10:30 and found them walking the halls. Mommy said her contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and about 60 seconds long. She was beautiful in her gown and fancy fuzzy socks. She had a telemetry unit for the continuous electronic fetal monitor, so Mommy was able to walk and roam and change positions to her heart’s content, as long as the belts kept the monitor in place. Mommy and Daddy looked excited and optimistic. They hugged often and were beautiful support for each other. Mommy continuously checked in with Daddy, almost as often as we checked in with her. It was a fantastic environment to be laboring in. I settled in, checked that everyone had water and encouraged eating since they’d both skipped dinner. Throughout the evening, I occasionally grabbed the camera and took some shots of Mommy and Daddy as they welcomed the labor and worked together to birth their son.

By 11:05 pm, Mommy made another bathroom trip and then continued standing and walking. She said that though she was feeling some discomfort in her back, it wasn’t excruciating. It didn’t sound like the typical back labor I heard stories about, but Mommy did say it felt just like it did during Big Brother’s birth, so I was a little concerned about baby’s position. When I asked her about it, Mommy said they’d been told baby was probably occiput transverse based on where his heartbeat was. At 11:35 pm, she asked for a birth ball so I hunted one down from the nurses. Mommy started looking more serious. Daddy turned on some music as Mommy hung out on the birth ball, and the midwife and the nurse adjusted her belts. At around midnight, Mommy requested some food and was told “clear liquids” only, so she enjoyed her chicken broth as best she could.

By 12:15 am, Mommy was back up and walking again, just going with the flow. I talked to her about her activity and what she felt was going on. Daddy was getting tired and Mommy ordered him to sleep, so he laid down to rest. We turned off the lights, turned on a few electronic candles, and set the room into “rest” mode. Mommy made another bathroom trip and then at 12:40 laid down to get some rest. Her right side was more comfortable to her, and it allowed the belts to stay in place, so that is what she did.

For the next hour, Mommy tried to rest and I just observed from the rocking chair. Her contractions were varying quite a bit. First they were 7 minutes apart and 80 seconds long, then 2.5 minutes apart and 90 seconds long, then 4.5 minutes apart and 90 seconds long. The midwife visited again and reiterated that she felt this was early labor because of the contraction pattern, but acknowledged that Mommy’s contractions seemed to be feeling stronger. A phlebotomist dropped in for a visit, and disrupted the rest time by turning on the lights and speaking very loudly. Mommy needed another blood draw because they’d messed up the last sample. Finally she left and Mommy was able to rest a bit.

While resting, Mommy seemed to drift to sleep, but then be shocked awake by each contraction. She was able to stay in position and breathe through each contraction, but I could tell they were growing quite uncomfortable. At times Mommy would let out a soft whisper of an “Ow” but otherwise, she was very quiet and determined to rest.

By 1:40 am, Mommy needed to pee again (yay! We were doing a good job with the water!). Contractions were between 3 and 7 minutes apart and 70-120 seconds long. They seemed to be getting stronger. The nurse popped in for another monitor check. Throughout the evening, the nurse visited at least a dozen times because the monitor fell out of place. While we knew these visits were necessary, they were quite disruptive, as they always flicked the lights on and spoke very loudly. Still, Daddy managed to sleep through much of it.

At 1:50 am, Mommy headed out to walk the halls again and then laid down again after that. Again, her right side was most comfortable, so she went with that. For the next hour, it was blissfully quiet and Mommy and Daddy were both able to sleep. Mommy was breathing beautifully through each contraction and would snooze in between. Contractions were 6-7 minutes apart. I draped myself in a towel (it was freezing in the room) and relaxed in the rocking chair.

Shortly after 3 am, Mommy got up to pee again and decided to try sitting/reclining in the bed for a bit. At 3:15, the midwife visited and offered another cervix check. Mommy wanted to know, so she got set up for the check. She was 6 cm and 90-95% effaced with baby’s head at -2 station and a bulging bag of waters. Contractions were still 6-7 minutes apart. This dilation was only a small change from 6+ hours ago, but it was progress, so we held on to that. The midwife suggested breaking her water (which she had also mentioned a couple of times earlier too), and Mommy politely but firmly declined. Mommy asked about the baby’s position, and the midwife indicated she believed the baby was anterior, but that she couldn’t feel the babies skull without breaking her water. The midwife suggested a shower or the tub. Mommy said she wanted to save the tub for later when things were more intense, and she certainly didn’t want to slow anything down at this point. But a shower sounded like a great idea. She asked me what I thought she should do and I agreed a shower sounded great – something different! The midwife additionally suggested Mommy try some manual nipple stimulation while in the shower and see if it brought on stronger contractions. So by 3:30 she hopped in for a good 20 minutes. Because of the telemetry unit for the EFM, she was able to stay on the monitors while in the shower.

By 4:00 am, Mommy was back out of the shower and ready for more action. The nipple stimulation didn’t seem to help a whole lot, but things didn’t slow down either. Mommy did agree the shower felt great! I demonstrated some lunges to her, and she worked on that with Daddy’s support a while. Because of the extended time with little progress, I continued to worry about baby’s position. The midwife had recently said she thought the baby was anterior, so I began to wonder about the position of his head. Could it be asynclitic? If malpositioned at all, the lunges might help and Mommy found that they felt really good.

Mommy had been reaching for her back during some of the contractions, so I asked her if I could help her by providing pressure to her back. She agreed, and it seemed to really help. So for a while, we three worked as a team. Mommy stood in the middle, content and talkative until a contraction hit when she would lift her leg onto the bench and lunge and sway with the energy. Daddy was facing Mommy and would hold her shoulders and support her balance. I was behind her providing pressure to the sore spots on her back. Throughout this entire time, I was amazed at how “normal” Mommy seemed between the contractions. It really seemed like her. It was an enjoyable time to spend with these expecting parents.

At 4:30, Mommy retreated to the birth ball again. This remained one of her favorite positions. We talked a little about emotions. I asked Mommy about being scared, and she acknowledged that she was (afraid of the pain). We talked a bit about how things really did need to get harder, but that it was good and necessary for this birth to move forward. Mommy seemed ready to accept what needed to happen.

At 5, the nurse checked Mommy’s blood pressure again (which was perfect). Mommy decided some jello sounded good, so I visited the nurses’ station to get that ordered. Mommy visited the bathroom again too. Contractions seemed to be getting still stronger and closer together with her new activity, sometimes as close as 90 seconds apart. At 5:30, Mommy decided to lay down again (right side). She was growing tired. Contractions spaced back out again to 4-6 minutes apart, sometimes 7.5 minutes apart. Back pressure continued to be helpful. After another 30 minutes, Mommy was back up to pee again, and then she went for a walk.

Just as the midwife’s shift was ending, she came in to check on Mommy one last time. She offered another cervix check, and Mommy agreed. I was so hopeful that all the activity over the last 3+ hours had resulted in dilation, but was skeptical because the contractions just didn’t seem strong enough, and they were still so variable in pattern. Sure enough, Mommy was 6-7 cm dilated, 95% effaced, and baby was still at a -2 station. I was feeling very frustrated for Mommy. Again, the midwife offered to break her water, and again Mommy declined with the plan to save it as a last resort. Shortly after the check, Mommy visited the bathroom again. We discussed a plan to get things going. I suggested we continue with the activity. The lunges seemed to speed things up. I also suggested we try acupressure, belly lifts (in hopes this may resolve any malposition we weren’t detecting), more position changes including hands and knees, and Mommy take another shower. Mommy began doing lunges.

By 7:30, Mommy had been visited by the new midwife, the old nurse, and the new nurse. All of them, including the old midwife expressed concern for how slowly things were going. The new midwife seemed very willing to work with Mommy and try hard to get things going, but she did acknowledge she would shortly be required to consult with the OB on call. Dr. OB was the OB, and the midwife said she would want to come in and meet Mommy before potentially meeting her in the operating room. I immediately felt uncomfortable with this change in language – suddenly we were talking about operating! I guess the reality was soon approaching, and Mommy seemed to know this deep down, but it was still hard for me to see this path before us when we still had so many tricks to try. Baby was doing fine and seemed very healthy, and Mommy was willing to keep working, so I didn’t see why we had to start talking about operating all ready.

Mommy also asked the midwife about using a breast pump for the nipple stimulation – something I suggested she ask about. The midwife said because Mommy was a VBAC, she was uncomfortable using the breast pump. While frustrated that she wouldn’t let us use one, I was pleased to realize she was acknowledging how strong nipple stimulation can be! The midwife also argued for AROM at this time, and suggested it was probably time to really consider it. Mommy suggested we wait just a little longer and really try hard to get things going, and that if at the next visit progress hadn’t been made, she would consent. The midwife agreed this was a good plan.

After she left, I snuck down to the cafeteria for a quick breakfast, giving Mommy and Daddy some much-needed alone time. I returned to find out through Mommy, through the nurse, through the midwife, that the OB was going to put Mommy on a shorter timeline. We were all worried about this news.

At 7:45 am, the OB came for a visit. She was very calculated in her language and movements. As she walked in the room, I felt immediately she just wanted this surgery to get going. I think Mommy could sense it too, as she later expressed how much she disliked this doctor. The OB discussed some time limits. She asked Mommy where she got stuck in her last labor (8cm) and where she was now (6cm). She asked about the size of the baby (estimated 9.5+ lbs). She strongly urged Mommy to allow the midwife to break her water. She suggested we do this immediately, or plan to move right on to surgery. She said if the AROM didn’t get things going, we just move on to surgery. And with that, she turned to leave and saluted Mommy on the way out while saying, “Hopefully things will get going, or else I’ll see you in the operating room.”

Daddy immediately embraced Mommy as she began to cry. This had been a rough hour, with visitor after visitor expressing doubts. Mommy had been in labor for about 15 hours, during which time she’d hardly slept or eaten, and she’d only dilated about 1 cm. I sensed that Mommy was tired, and disappointed. She talked about “having been down this road before.” I couldn’t help but cry too. The 3 of us just circled together and released our frustration. And then, we discussed really getting serious.

At 8, Mommy got back in the shower with instructions from me to be more aggressive with the nipple stimulation. By 8:30 she was back out. Contractions were definitely closer together, sometimes only 90 seconds apart and 60 seconds long, but still weren’t strong enough. Daddy ran down to the cafeteria for some breakfast, so Mommy and I had some time to work together. At 8:45 I instructed Mommy on applying acupressure on her Hoku point on her hand. She tried this for a few cycles, but didn’t notice any increase in intensity with contractions. So I moved on to trying acupressure at her Spleen 6 point on her legs. I kept up with this for quite some time. While contractions were longer and closer together, they still just didn’t seem strong enough. At 9:00, I alternated the acupressure with belly lifts using the rebozo. Mommy said these felt really good. We watched the EFM to make sure the lifts weren’t affected the baby’s heartbeat. Everything looked good. While doing this, one of the nurses visited and commented that we were doing something right, because the contractions were getting closer together. She looked confused at seeing Mommy wrapped in the rebozo with me down on the floor pressing on her legs. It made me chuckle…she probably really wondered what the crazy doula was doing to her labor patient.

The midwife came in to break Mommy’s water, but Daddy was still gone and then she got a page, so the AROM was temporarily held off. This was a blessing in a way, as it gave us one last hour to try all our tricks and to focus on powerful contractions. We continued the acupressure, belly lifts, lunges, rocking, standing, and leaning on the bed. Once Daddy returned, I retreated to the bathroom to pump (something I’d done every 3-6 hours all night). While in the bathroom, I could hear that the midwife returned and was ready to check Mommy. Bad news. There was no change in dilation. So Mommy consented to AROM. Thankfully, the fluid was clear. Mommy was moved to an upright sitting position in the bed. The way the bed was cranked up, Mommy looked like a Queen up on her pedestal. Immediately afterwards, she didn’t seem to notice any difference with the AROM. But things changed quickly. The midwife had suggested that Mommy needed to dilate 1.5-2 cm/hour now to avoid a cesarean, which seemed really fast to me. Little did I know Mommy would have NO problem with this.

Within 5 minutes, things were ramping up. The contractions seemed to be overwhelming her. They were now less than 2 minutes apart and 75-90 seconds long. Within minutes, Mommy started verbalizing doubt that she could not do this. I recognized this as transition and told Mommy I thought she was there. She didn’t believe me. She thought it was too soon. The contractions were just killing her in this sitting position, so she asked me to get the nurse so she could be hooked back up to the telemetry unit so she could move around again. I walked out the nurses station and got the nurse’s attention and she acknowledged that Mommy was really getting slammed (she’d been watching the monitor). The midwife was also at the station, so she came in the room too.

By 10:10, Mommy was getting hooked back to the telemetry unit. The midwife suggested IV fluids. She said she often saw this response to AROM because of dehydration, and that the fluids may make the contractions more manageable and a little more spaced. Mommy declined at first, but after getting hit by another couple of contractions, agreed. By now she was off the bed. I held her in a standing position through a couple of contractions, and then eased her back onto the birth ball. Contractions were just coming strong and hard, and after just a minute on the birth ball, Mommy let out a tell-tale grunt. The nurse, the midwife and I all looked up at each other and smiled. Mommy’s body was bearing down. It was 10:15 am.

The midwife and the nurse checked in with Mommy and asked her what she was feeling. Mommy wasn’t sure, but it was strong! Mommy’s sounds were pushing grunts. I looked to Daddy and mouthed that Mommy was doing great, and that things were moving fast. At about the same time, the baby’s heart rate dipped a bit. It was enough of a drop to concern the midwife, and Mommy was just getting overwhelmed by the contractions, so the midwife told Mommy she wanted to get her back on the bed to check what was happening. Mommy didn’t want to move. She didn’t think she COULD move. But with help, they got her up to standing and discovered bloody show. This was a very good sign!

By 10:20, Mommy was up on the bed on her right (preferred) side and continued bearing down with each contraction. Daddy was by her side, holding her and whispering in her ear words of love and support. It was obvious how strong his support was to Mommy during this time. The midwife checked and found she was almost fully dilated, with just a lip of cervix remaining and baby was at 0 station! Mommy had FLOWN right by transition. Unfortunately, the baby’s heart rate was dropping down under 90 bpm and remaining low for extended periods after each contraction. The midwife and nurse worked with Mommy to turn her to her left side, which Mommy resisted, but they got her turned rather quickly. At the same time, the nurse prepared an oxygen mask and put it on Mommy to try and give the baby as much oxygen as possible. I could tell this position was not very comfortable for Mommy, but she knew it was important for her baby.

At 10:35 the midwife checked Mommy again and she was fully dilated. The heart decels started to improve, so Mommy was able to remove the mask shortly. Pushing now begins in earnest. Mommy started pushing with her legs pulled up and rolled slightly to her left. She pushed in this position for a while, and the baby was bulging low in her bottom with each push. She didn’t believe us when we said she was DOING IT. I asked her if she thought we were lying, and she said yes! She was doing a fabulous job, putting all her energy in each push. In between contractions, which were now between 1.5 and 3 minutes apart, she appeared to drift off to sleep. By 11:00, it seemed a position change might help bring the baby down further. So the midwife and nurse got the squat bar set up for Mommy to try. In transitioning to the squat, Mommy was hit by a contraction and collapsed into a kneeling position, where she remained for a contraction or two. She then got up and prepared to use the squat bar. This seemed to be a very powerful position for her, as she continued to bring the baby down.

At 11:10 am, the midwife checked again and felt the baby was at about a +2 station, but that a caput (swelling) was forming on his head. She suggested Mommy lay back into a reclined position and prop her feet on the squat bar for support. Mommy then used the bar to push off of, and then was sometimes encouraged to grab her legs and pull them up high against her in an exaggerated lithotomy position. At times the midwife said she could even see the baby’s hair. I was so excited. It seemed Mommy was really going to do this!

Thirty minutes later, nothing had changed and Mommy was not only tired, but really starting to doubt. The midwife, nurse, Daddy, and myself were continuing to give her support and encouragement. Mommy continued to ask though, “Is the baby going to come out?” The midwife was honest and said the baby hadn’t come down much anymore, and it was obvious Mommy was pushing very hard. She needed the OB for a second opinion now that they’d been pushing for over an hour. Mommy voiced her dislike for this OB, but there was no one else available and it was clear another opinion was necessary. So the OB was called. Meanwhile, Mommy continued to push. At 11:45 am, the OB arrives and examines Mommy. She said the presenting part was all caput, and that the head was actually at around a +1. This meant in about 90 minutes of pushing and bearing down, the baby had only moved from a 0 to a +1 station. This was difficult news. Mommy was trying so hard. She was changing positions and trying all kinds of different pushes. She was doing everything right. But the baby wasn’t coming down past the pubic bone. And Mommy was DONE. Because the presenting part was all caput, the OB said she could not do an assisted (forceps or vacuum) delivery. She said the baby wasn’t coming out, and that Mommy had tried very hard, but that it was time to go get the baby out. The cesarean was recommended, and Mommy agreed.

For the next 15 minutes, people were rushing around getting Mommy ready for surgery. Mommy immediately requested pain medication, so the anesthesiologist came in very shortly. There was some discussion over whether the surgery would happen immediately or later, but once it was resolved Mommy was informed of the risks of her impending spinal. The OB discussed the risks of the repeat cesarean, and Mommy signed her consent. Daddy rushed around and tried to pack up the room, then suited up for the operating room. Mommy, Daddy and I had previously discussed me accompanying them in the operating room, but the nurse told me they do not allow that in this hospital. So I stayed behind and packed up the room. At 12 noon, Mommy was wheeled away. After packing the bags, I retreated to the waiting room, expecting to hear something in an hour or so.

The waiting room was an uncomfortable place. There was a television which blasted Scooby Doo cartoons, and there were several families waiting for their own exciting news – and they all seemed to speak a different language. I was tired, needed more caffeine, and needed to pump, but I didn’t want to leave the waiting room in case I missed Daddy coming to tell me about the birth. So I stayed and tried to relax, making a few phone calls to check in at home. I also found two messages from friends – Lauren and Kendra – who’d called to hear how things were going.

By 1:30, I still hadn’t heard anything, so I decided to ask the receptionist. She called recovery and said Mommy had just arrived there, and it would be at least another 2 hours before anyone was allowed in. I couldn’t believe it! Nearly 4 hours of isolation for a cesarean? I had no idea. I knew I couldn’t stay that long. I was so tired, and every hour I stayed at the hospital was making it harder for me to drive home safely. So I asked the receptionist if I could get a message to Daddy. He said he would come out and speak to me. So finally, I got the word that Mommy and baby Baby Boy LK were fine. Baby Boy LK was born at 12:40 pm and weighed 9 lbs 13 oz! What a big boy! I was so delighted to hear they were well. Daddy confirmed for me that after Mommy received her spinal, she was content and happy with the decision to move to a cesarean. He said she talked about having tried everything to get him out, and that this was how Baby Boy LK was choosing to be born. I was happy to hear her feelings about this. I really wanted to talk with her, but this was not the time. So I gave Daddy a big hug, congratulated him on the birth of his son, and took my leave.

In my 90 minute drive home, I started having a hard time staying awake, so had to stop and stand in the cold air to make it all the way. I collapsed into my bed at 3:45 pm, but my mind couldn’t shut off for a while. I thought about all the things we did during the labor and felt good about all our efforts. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what was holding little (big) Baby Boy LK up. When I spoke to Mommy the next day, I learned that he was posterior afterall! I couldn’t believe it! Mommy said the midwife discussed this with her, and suggested that perhaps there was something about Mommy’s hip structure that encouraged babies to swing posterior as they descended, because Baby Boy LK had been anterior earlier in the labor. Still, I couldn’t help but kick myself, wishing we’d spent some quality time in hands-and-knees, just in case.

As a doula, this was a great experience for me because we got to try so many things during the labor. It was my first all-night birth, and my first cesarean. This was also my first experience walking away and wondering if we just tried one or two more things, if that would have changed the outacome. I know that we all did our best, and that is what I should remember. And Mommy is really happy with the outcome, having made it all the way to pushing and getting to try that in several positions. Mommy later said she felt this even healed her some from her first birth, because she realized the transition feelings she had at the end of her first birth were really about as hard as it would get, so she no longer felt she’d wimped out. And having her second baby choose the “side door” as Mommy puts it, despite multiple tricks to invite him out the “front door”, validated the necessity of her first cesarean too. Overall, it was an incredible experience for all of us. I feel blessed to have been a part of this event, and only wish I could have seen Mommy and Baby Boy LK after the birth. I’m so proud of Mommy for working with her body and allowing her baby to receive all those precious squeezes. And Daddy was an amazing partner, always supportive and attentive to Mommy.

Congratulations to the Family! Thank you for allowing me to be with you on this important day. And welcome Baby Boy LK!

Cabin in the snowy mountains

I am here. It is gorgeous. Internet is slooooooooow. That is all.

Car insurance update

Turns out when that insurance agent said I was "involved" in an accident, she meant as a witness. Whew! I didn't think she could possibly be asking about that, because it was 6 weeks ago that the accident happened. But I guess the drivers in the accident didn't report it until this week, so I didn't get the call until then. I'm so relieved it wasn't something bad for me, like someone claiming I hit them. I offered my name and number to both drivers of this accident I witnessed because of an accident I was in a year ago. A very VERY very old man hit my car, and while I was busy calling the police, he was out in the street getting witnesses. Long story short, I had no witnesses and he had several who spouted a modified version of the truth...and I was found at fault (even though he HIT me while I was completely stopped...and he drove away without realizing he hit me...and then his story included the completely wrong part of his van too). So I learned the lesson that witnesses are more important than just about anything else. Next time I won't move the cars out of traffic either, until I have taken pictures at least.

Anyway, I was glad to do my duty and help these drivers settle their accident.

Curious

I got a call today from a car insurance company about a recent accident I was in. I find this very curious, as I haven't been in any accidents recently. Hmmm... My mind is swirling with the possibilities. Mistaken identity? Stolen identity? Could I have possibly hit someone, causing ZERO damage to my car (a small car that simply does not hit things without major damage), and not realize it? Very curious indeed. Unfortunately, the insurance rep and I seem destined to play phone tag for now, and I'm not getting any juicy details out of that. This will drive me absolutely crazy until I know what is going on!

The wrong pizza

We have a Friday night pizza tradition in this house. It is something I look forward to all week, cause I looooove pizza. While I think pizza pretty much stinks in Corvallis, we have learned to tolerate and even kinda like American Dream Pizza. But they've got this problem with screwing up our order. It has happened...oh...like 6 times in the last 4 months or so. Most of the times it has been a simple mistake - wrong kind of cheese, or they put chicken on the entire pizza instead of half. But after the 4th screwup I called them and made a complaint, because at that point we were talking about $75 worth of messed up pizza. That complaint earned me a $35 coupon, which was great, and they now seem to be VERY attentive to our orders.

But that didn't stop them from screwing up again tonight. Thank goodness Keith checked the pizza at the door, as we've learned is absolutely necessary to my evening happiness with our dinner. We ordered a large pizza with BBQ sauce as the base, and 1/2 of it covered in gouda and the other half covered in chicken. Sounds weird, I know. But try it. You'll like it. Anyway, the pizza that showed up had tomato sauce as the base. One one half it had pepperoni and gouda cheese (at least the gouda part was right). On the other half it had mushrooms, bacon, and ham. Could they have screwed it up anymore? Anyway, the store manager immediately called and apologized and hijacked one of their drivers to bring us our proper pizza immediately. We got the keep the screwy pizza too. Too bad we don't eat pepperoni, bacon, or ham.

Depressed

Sometimes that is all you need to say.

It is wet here

That might not sound like news. I do live in the Pacific Northwest afterall, and it is December...the time of dark days and damp air. But it is really wet here right now, so wet that I-5, the major interstate that runs north-south from Canada to Mexico through Washington, Oregon, and California, is currently under 10 feet of water. Footage on the news stations looks like New Orleans after the levies broke, but nope. It is just here, and it is just from heavy rains. Thankfully, Corvallis has largely been spared, save some flooded intersections and minor wind damage. Tens of thousands are still without power, and many people are missing. Thankfully, now the weather is supposed to turn a bit sunnier. But Oregon did lose a big treasure - a Sitka Spruce which was the largest living thing in Oregon broke during the storm.

Sick babies

We are weathering our first double-kid cold in the house. This is actually Alder's very first bug - not too bad making it all the way to 6.5 months! Anyway, it has proven to be fairly mild for both of them. There were slight fevers (under 100) and lots of snot, but it kept flowing so no bulb suctioning was necessary. Yesterday was the worst day. Today is looking slightly better. They both even slept okay. I kinda like this...a nice, gentle warm-up to what I'm sure (with the addition of daycare starting Thursday) will be a killer cold season.