I've met death and I hate her

I held my aunt's hand as she died. I watched this wonderful woman, who was once so full of life and love, take her last gasping breaths. I watched the color drain from her face. I felt the warmth leave her fingers. I cried.

I've taken a little blogging hiatus during this tough time. I was thinking about making a big post about it, but I'm not sure I have it in me. I'm really upset over losing my aunt. I'm so thankful I was there with her in the end though. It was really good for me to see her one last time, and she seemed happy to see me too. I had Alder with me, so she got to meet him and that seemed to provide a good source of many smiles during a sad time. And I was happy to be there with my mom as she (and my bro and I) gave her hospice care in her final days. It was just the 3 of us taking care of my aunt. The rest of the family was far away, so of course the phone was always ringing off the hook.

My aunt died of kidney and liver failure as a result of a lifetime of alcoholism. The final death was actually drowning as fluid filled her lungs. It was really ugly. She was 58. I'm very thankful I live in Oregon, where assisted suicide is an option. I would not want a long, drawn-out death like my aunt experienced. It just was NOT a pretty way to die.

Back to my regular blogging now. I hope.

Death in the family

Vacation cut short. Emergency plane tickes purchased. Leaving in 15 minutes to fly East to be with family. Back next week.

Did Somebody Have a Baby?

We had dinner at Keith's parent's house last night, and there were soooo many family members there, it was a little terrifying to our toddler. As customary, the very old and the very young are the guests of honor, so it was Ava, Alder, and Keith's grandma Pat that shared the spotlight. It was lovely to see so much of Keith's family, though I do wish we could see them all a bit more often, and in smaller groups. With 20 people in the room, all of whom you owe a conversation to, you end up talking to no one and feeling bad about it.

Let me see if I can get all the family straight here. We had:
Keith
Ava
Alder
Linda (Keith's mom)
Ron (Keith's dad)
Kari (Keith's sister)
Kristi (Keith's sister)
Pat (Keith's grandma, aka Ron's mom)
Dave (Keith's uncle, aka Ron's brother)
Lorri (Keith's aunt, married to Dave)
Haley (Keith's cousin, daughter of Dave and Lorri)
Karly (ditto)
Lexy (ditto)
Don (Keith's uncle, aka Linda's brother)
Mary Fran (Keith's aunt, married to Don)
Donna (Keith's cousin, daughter of Don and Mary Fran)
Sean (married to Donna's daughter Maureen, who was absent)
Other nameless woman (?)
Tabitha (Keith's cousin twice removed, daughter of Sean)
Cassie? (ditto)

I can't even recall if I'd met all these family members before. Some of them I do remember seeing very briefly at our wedding (very briefly because the other 130 guests were also flashing before my eyes). It was just a bit nuts. And Ava agreed. She screamed and wanted to hide when the full force of all that family were crammed into one room, all wanting to see her. After half the party had left, she got a bit more accustomed to Keith's family, and even danced on command. Some of Keith's cousins are young (under 10 years old for a few of them), so Ava had some friends she could play with and dance for. Alder spent a good half of the evening attached to my breast, and because I would never hide myself while breastfeeding, Keith's family all got to witness it. Thankfully they all seemed okay with Alder's choice of food, or at least they didn't berate me in front of the group.

Karly, Dave, Grandma Pat with Alder, and Lexy:
Karly and Alder (I love this picture): Grandma Pat with Alder and Ava:
Alder getting some standing assistance:
Ron and Kari getting Alder started on reading already: