Baby Boy J's Birth

The Birth of Baby Boy J

Friday, November 24th, 2006 at 10:55 pm

7 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches

Original due date: November 26th

2nd baby, hospital birth

Mommy J had been on-edge for a while. At her 37-week appointment, she had a scare when the baby was breech, though he righted himself before her external version was scheduled the next day. She also learned at that appointment she was 3 cm dilated. She’d been having some contractions sporadically that were getting increasingly uncomfortable, but they always stopped within a couple of hours. Since her first son was born at 38 weeks, we were all prepared for something to happen soon. At the same time, we all reminded ourselves that with a second baby, you can be 3 cm dilated for WEEKS. So we waited.

Mommy J and Daddy M were really open during our prenatal discussions – this baby was a surprise for them and while bringing this family together, it was also a very stressful time. I felt very comfortable with both parents-to-be during our talks – I felt strongly they would both be onboard with the birth and ready to support each other.

At 39 weeks and 5 days, Mommy J called me at 8 pm just to let me know she’d been having contractions about 15 minutes apart for an hour or two. She said they were painful and that she really had to focus and breathe through them. She wasn’t convinced this was labor yet because this had happened before, but just to be sure, she (smartly!) sent Daddy M out to pick up a few last minute details. Mommy J and I spoke briefly. For the time-being, she was going to make sure her bags were packed and then go lie down and try to rest as much as possible. At 15 minutes apart, rest was the best thing for her to work on, especially when labor was just getting started at night. I asked her to call me back anytime, but if she was still awake in 2 hours, to just give me a quick update before we all headed to bed. Little did we know…

I thought of a few more things I wanted to say, so I called her back at around 8:20 pm. I wanted to make sure she’d eaten dinner, and that she was working on getting fluids in right now. Daddy M was still at the store at this point. Mommy J told me her contractions were now about 6 minutes apart and definitely stepping up in intensity. I listened to her through a couple of them – they seemed to be around 40-50 seconds, and they were definitely hard work. Mommy J was still not completely convinced, so I asked her to keep resting and have Daddy M help her time them for a bit when he returned from the store. She didn’t feel like I was needed yet, though when I hung up the phone with her, I had a strong feeling this was it so I packed my bags and waited for another call.

At 9 pm, Daddy M called and said Mommy J wanted me to come over. She still wasn’t sure if this was labor, but she wanted me to come see what I thought. Her contractions were now about 4 minutes apart, but still not terribly long. I felt pretty certain this was it, so I took all my bags with me. I arrived at approximately 9:15 pm.

Mommy J was kneeling on the couch with her body draped over the arm of the couch. Daddy M was sitting beside her and comforting her as contractions hit. From the look on Mommy J’s face, this was definitely it. The contractions were coming on pretty hard and fast. I sat with them, stroked her back, gave her a comb to grasp, and began timing contractions. They were about 3 minutes apart and a minute long, and they were very hard work. Mommy J was beginning to make some noise with them which was really good, as it often is a nice release to moan with contractions. She was just riding them as they came.

We talked for a bit and visited the bathroom before too long. In between, Mommy J was very lucid. This made it tough for me to read – 3 minutes apart is quite serious, but still being emotionally present in between contractions means it could have even been early labor. Mommy J was working very hard though. Since she was already 3 cm dilated before this even began, she rocked right into active labor very quickly with very little warm-up. Daddy M and I did our best to embrace her and support her as each wave hit.

Before too long, we had the discussion about when it was the right time to leave. Mommy J felt it was time to call the doctor and let her know what was happening, so Daddy M took care of that while I sat with her for a bit. Mommy J’s normal doctor, Dr. M, was not on call tonight. Dr. C was the doctor who called back – another very nice doctor that Mommy J had seen once before. I was glad to hear it was this doctor on call.

Daddy M filled the doctor in on her current status. At this point, I noticed Mommy J was beginning to lose her ability to make sense in between the contractions – she was loooong past the point of doing anything during them. Mommy J instructed Daddy M to tell the doctor we would head to the hospital within the hour, and the doctor did not instruct anything different during the conversation. Mommy J expressed some doubt about when was the right time to go in – she didn’t want to wait so long that it would be a horrible ride and first 30 minutes with the EFM. But she didn’t want to get there too early either. Her first birth was about 24 hours long and she definitely felt they went to the hospital too soon, so she wanted to avoid that this time. I felt Mommy J’s intuition was the best judge at this point. I agreed we should leave within the hour, but also added that Mommy J should just make the call when it felt right. That moment wasn’t very far away…

Daddy M returned from the phone calls (family called a couple of times) and rubbed Mommy J’s lower back in a way that was great relief for her. I thought at the moment it was wonderful he was so in-tuned with what might work at that moment – he knew exactly where to touch her and she was obviously comforted by his touch. I felt my best role right now was to breath with her through contractions, and remind her with verbal cues about what was happening and to keep her breathing slow and deep.

Shortly before 10 pm, Mommy J’s contractions were about 2.5 minutes apart and at least 1 minute long. At almost exactly the same moment I felt it was time to leave, Mommy J got up from the couch and announced it was time! We gathered our bags and headed out. I followed in my car – Mommy J felt she would be okay to ride without me in the back of her wagon with Daddy M at the wheel. I could see her while we drove – she was really thrashing about. I sensed things were really picking up for her and I was glad we were on our way.

I parked my car and came in to find Mommy J and Daddy M with the ER registration clerk. It was 10:23 pm. The clerk was really great – she patiently waited while Mommy J had a contraction and worked efficiently during the brief breaks she had. While sitting at the registration desk, Daddy M ran outside to move their car into a parking space, and Mommy J began to moan again and voice that she didn’t think she couldn’t do this. This was a big cue for us all – I knew Mommy J was at or near transition now, and the registration clerk knew we needed to go upstairs ASAP. She got a nurse with a wheelchair right away.

Mommy J and I were wheeled upstairs. Mommy J was uncomfortable in the chair, but at this point, I sensed she’d have been really uncomfortable in any position. The intensity was really high now. We were taken to a birthing room and a nurse asked Mommy J to change and try to pee for them. I don’t think the nurse had an idea of how intense things were right now. It was moving very fast. I assisted Mommy J in the bathroom with her clothes and we quickly realized – there was no more peeing at this point. For some reason, the hospital gown was a crazy puzzle of snaps and ties and we couldn’t figure it out, so we called the nurse in to help. It was at this point that the nurse really got to hear how hard Mommy J was working with her contractions and how quickly they were coming on. Mommy J would just collapse into me as each one hit, but it was so intense she couldn’t help but writhe just a little bit. The nurse also asked Mommy J what her intentions were for pain medication, and Mommy J answered “None.” I knew Mommy J was really struggling right now, but I was so proud of her for answering without hesitation. I knew she could do it.

Daddy M made it up to the room right around when we moved Mommy J back over to the bed. The nurse wanted to get her started on the required 30 minutes of EFM. This meant Mommy J had to sit in the bed, which was really uncomfortable. Once she was hooked up, the nurse felt she should check on Mommy J’s dilation to get a sense of where she was. All the while Mommy J was just trying to survive each contraction while occasionally telling us that she just couldn’t do this anymore. Thankfully, the nurse came back with good news.

“Would you like to know that you are 9 cm dilated right now?” The nurse said with a big smile. J Rock on! That was amazing news. Her bag of waters was also bulging, and once that broke, the nurse knew the baby would be on its way out. The nurse let us know that she knew how to deliver a baby, but that they really wanted to give the doctor time to get here. The nurse left briefly to get assistance. Daddy M stepped away to call Mommy J’s sister and ask her to pick up Brother A and bring him to the hospital ASAP.

At this point, Mommy J was working so so hard. Daddy M was right there providing her intimate support by holding her arms and looking into her eyes. I sensed this was one of the most intense moments of their lives, and they were looking to each other beautifully. I was really impressed with how Daddy M was able to be very present during such a crazy time. Mommy J kept asking us how soon this would be over. I knew it was going to only be a matter of minutes, but just couldn’t say that for fear that it might take longer.

The nurse returned with reinforcements. For the remainder of the birth, there were between 2 and 5 (or 6?) nurses in the room at all times. Dr. C was on her way, but they’d also requested another doctor who was in the building to stand in just in case this baby forced his way out. I did not catch this doctor’s name – she just stood back with gloves on and let me, Daddy M, and the nurses work with Mommy J. I assume she was an ER doc – who else would be in the hospital at this time of night? It was at about this point Mommy J’s contractions suddenly spaced out a bit, giving her more rest in between. Mommy J noticed this and asked what was happening – I let her know this was normal and that it was her body’s way of taking a little rest before she started pushing. I knew we had at most 1 or 2 more contractions before Mommy J couldn’t help but push.

At 10:43 pm, only 20 minutes after arriving at the hospital, Mommy J’s body took over. The intensity was beyond Mommy J’s wildest dreams – you could see it in her eyes. Mommy J was grabbing onto Daddy M and I and almost seemed to want to crawl away from what was happening to her. The nurses were a wonderful help here – they were really able to keep Mommy J focused with a firm voice. They instructed her to breath through the pushes in a way that I sensed they were still trying to stall – I hoped this didn’t last long.

After this first pushing contraction, Dr. C walked in. She was suited up and ready to go. As Mommy J rode out each push, the doctor and nurses got the equipment and the bed all set up. Mommy J had wanted to push in a squatting position, but at this point I did not see how we could make that happen. It was just happening to fast and didn’t think Mommy J would be able to move at this point. Dr. C was ready and in place right about when Mommy J’s bottom began to bulge. The baby was coming down! As I was positioned closer to her bottom, I asked Daddy M if he wanted to switch places with me so he could see his son be born. Daddy M felt like he was in the right place where he could be close to Mommy J’s face, so we stayed where we were.

The birth was nearly over – Mommy J was pushing HARD with each contraction. Dr. C was in place and just as she reached in to check that Mommy J was fully dilated (she was), her water broke. There was light meconium in the water, which caused a bit of buzz among the doctor and nurses. I was hoping this didn’t mean the baby might be whisked away after the birth.

Daddy M and I were on Mommy J’s left, and The nurse and another nurse (who is also a doula) were at her right. Daddy M was attentively wiping Mommy J’s brow with a wet cloth. Mommy J was in the standard lithotomy position, though she did have a really good amount of incline in her back. I know that isn’t what she had wanted, but it was happening, and now it was almost over. The doctor used some massage to try and stretch Mommy J’s tissues as the nurse applied antiseptic and warm fluids. This really shocked Mommy J – I wish they’d warned her before they’d done it. Within just a minute or two, the baby’s head was crowning and with one more push and loud ROAR from Mommy J, the baby’s head was out! At this point, Mommy J had a break from the contraction and I tried to get her to touch her baby’s head, but she wasn’t quite ready. The doctor was suctioning the baby while she had this short rest-break.

With the next contraction, Mommy J was pushing really hard again. The doctor and nurses were continuously talking to her and giving her instruction – Daddy M and I were just holding on to her and whispering encouraging words when we could. Mommy J’s instinct was the arch her back and crawl away, so the doctor really helped her try to curl around the baby and look down. The doctor eased the baby’s neck out and saw that a hand was coming beside the shoulder – making it hard to fit. Mommy J screeched a little as she felt herself tear, but that was the widest part and with another half a push, the baby was here!

Baby Boy J was born at 10:55 pm after just 12 minutes of pushing and only being in the hospital for 32 minutes. Right as the baby was placed on Mommy J’s belly, Brother A and Mommy J’s sister walked in. It was all perfectly timed – Mommy J had wanted Brother A there AS SOON as the baby was born, and they had just arrived in time to hear that last ROAR from the hallway. Mommy J was instantly present with her baby – she was grabbing at him and crying. I could see total relief in her eyes. Daddy M was just instantly in awe at his son. I couldn’t help but tear up. It was just perfect.

Over the next 20-30 minutes, Mommy J delivered the placenta and received a couple of stitches. The doctor clamped the cord very quickly and offered for Daddy M to cut it, but he declined, so I was given the honor. Mommy J’s after-pains were really hitting hard, so hard she had to focus and breathe through them. After having lots of time in Mom’s arms, Baby Baby Boy J spent a bit of time in the warmer as Mommy J was stitched. Daddy M and Brother A kept a careful watch over their new son and brother. I stayed beside Mommy J and continued to hold her hand and brush the hair from her eyes. It took a little bit of time, but before too long, the bed was back together and Mommy J could stretch her legs again. Her Dad arrived shortly after. Mommy J said she felt really good, though understandably sore. She had done it!

Within about 45 minutes, the room was quiet again with just family and myself. The baby indicated he was ready to nurse, so I encouraged Mommy J to give it a go. Another nurse was here and helped Mommy J get that first latch. This baby didn’t need much help though – he knew what he was doing! I stayed with the new family for about another hour, offering lots of smiles and help taking pictures. Baby Boy J received his first bath with lots of help from Brother A. Mommy J and Baby Boy J both seemed to be in great health. The meconium turned into a non-issue. At about 20 minutes till 1 am, I left the happy new family. It was such an honor and blessing to be there and support these wonderful people through the birth of their son.