Too much money

When do you ever get as lucky as I did today? I went to the grocery store for some potatoes, and decided to use my debit card to pay the bill. Now, I can count on 1 hand the number of times I have used my debit card to make purchases. I just never do it. But today I wanted some cash back too, so I did it. I asked for $40, and my receipt indicated that my change was $40. But I got 10 $5 bills from the machine. I stood there, counting and counting, convinced at first it was lack of sleep that was causing me to add wrong. But no, the machine REALLY gave me $10 extra. That nearly made me jump for joy on the spot - not because the $10 is that important, but because it just felt like a really good luck sign. It just felt GOOD to have something totally random and positive happen today. So did I give the money back? Hell no. Maybe they'll track me down and take it back from me at some point. But for today, I'm enjoying my good fortune.

3rd Anniversary

Today is our 3rd anniversary. Hard to believe it has only been 3 years. We have a sitter coming over tonight (just from 6-8, but hey...it is something) so we can go to dinner ALONE. It feels nice to be celebrating today. There is just something in the air. Last year this day passed with little notice, but this year, I feel like we need to make it special.

The brilliance of indoor parks

I can't believe we didn't join last year. Man. Whoever came up with this idea deserves a medal. Yesterday I took Ava and Alder to preview one of the local indoor parks. Brilliant! Ava was instantly in love and she talked about it all day, even though we were only there for about 20 minutes. It is cheap ($40), it is open every weekday, everyone gets a key, and there are lots of toys, climbing structures, and slides to wear the kids out for naptime. My only complaint has to be the somewhat limited hours (9:30-3:00), which I assume is a function of the building the indoor park lives in (local fire station).

There are two parks in Corvallis - one for younger kids (~6 months to 3 years) and one for older kids (~18 months to 5 years). I've chosen to join the younger one this year. I think it is all new enough that Ava will stay engaged this year, and this way it is more appropriate for Alder as he grows this winter. The trick will be negotiating their naps so we can come and play, since they will be on opposite nap schedules for much of the winter. But I'm confident we can do it.

Man, the brilliance of indoor parks...especially for the rainy Pacific Northwest. I think I'm in love.

Am I gonna be a midwife?

Maybe. The birth bug has definitely got me strong. Today I attended a training session for wanna-be midwife's assistants. It was really great - all like-minded ladies together for a day of playing with instruments, practicing techniques, and talking birth, baby, and pregnancy. The training was offered by several midwives from the Midwifery Access Project in Eugene, OR. Three other doulas from my local Corvallis group went down with me, so it was a great time had by all.

Five years ago, I never had any idea I would become this involved in birth work. I guess it started when I began planning my first pregnancy, long before I actually met the man who eventually became my husband. I just knew I wanted to have a natural, drug-free birth. Over time, I realized my vision was to have my children at home. So once I was married and we were ready to have children, my time had come. After my first homebirth, I knew the hands-off midwifery model was definitely my cup of tea. I became the uber birth nerd that I continue to be, and I got interested in doula work. I still didn't have an interest in being a primary midwife though. Eventually I started to consider being a midwife's assistant. Someday, I'd love to attend some training workshops on The Farm.

Anyway, fast foward to now. I have a handfull of births under my belt and a few more in the hopper. I've had my second child. I've realized that though I intend on a career in academia at some point, I know it isn't where I still spend the rest of my working days. And I'm starting to think about the long path to being a real, primary midwife. For me, it could be a VERY long path though. For now, I'm just thinking I'll soak up any birth experiences I can get - as a doula, as an assistant, as an apprentice, as a friend. I know I can't take an assistant/apprentice role until I finish school. But after school is done, that might be a good time for something like that. We'll see. I think I've got the sleep on this one. In the meantime, I'm gonna make an appointment with my midwife to go over my charts. Now that I've had the class, I think I can read them and understand. I'm sure I might let slip that I've attended this class and could be interested in attending births if she was ever searching for someone.

Stroller love

I love my stroller. I love it so much...I can't remember life without it. Oddly, Marketing Mommy also just posted a review of this exact same beauty, even in the same color. We both agree - this stroller rocks! Alder is especially happy now that he can sit up. He wasn't terribly fond of the infant position. I guess there wasn't enough to look at. Anyway, I think this is some of the best $400 we've spent on kid-related paraphenalia. And I would add one descriptor to Marketing Mommy's review - it actually folds SMALLER than a single BOB. Amazing.

More cake pictures

And while I'm sitting at the computer with all the pictures on it, I'll upload some more cake pictures. This first one is simple box yellow cake with a layer of homemade chocolate mousse. It is also iced in the mousse, and drizzled with chocolate ganache.

This little cake is homemade vanilla-almond cake with chocolate mousse frosting and chocolate ganache icing.


This cake with the flower was my masterpiece... It is a chocolate cake with a layer of white chocolate raspberry mousse in the middle. It was then iced in buttercream icing and covered in marshmallow fondant. The decorations are fondant.

This one was vanilla-almond cake with a layer of chocolate mousse. It was covered then in chocolate buttercream, and glazed with chocolate ganache.

And this was for Ava's birthday. These are fondant creatures I made.
And here is the cake. It was one layer of chocolate cake and one layer of vanilla almond cake with a layer of strawberry mousse in the middle. It then has regular buttercream icing with fondant creatures and letters.

Book club

Tonight I attended my first book club meeting. But this isn't any ordinary book club. This is the "I want to get pregnant" book club. :) Last spring I was invited as a special guest to the book club, since I was largely pregnant with my second child, and I was a doula. So I went, and spoke, and discovered that of the 5 regular members, I already knew 2 of them. We had a great time that night. I've run into the ladies a number of times over the summer, and I basically invited myself to join the book club cause well, I want to be pregnant again soon. And they welcomed me with open arms.

Tonight's meeting was supposed to focus on the first trimester in honor of one of the book club members who is now 9 weeks pregnant. So we talked about her first big OB appointment, her first ultrasound, prenatal testing, and all that fun stuff. The book they are reading and using as a guide is Body, Soul, and Baby: A Doctor's Guide to the Complete Pregnancy Experience, From Preconception to Postpartum by Traci Gaudet and Paula Spencer. My feelings for the book (I've only read one section so far) are mediocre. The author is obviously uninformed about midwifery (she claimed there was no certifying body for lay midwives, which completes ignores NARM and all CPMs in the US), either that or she choose to omit information so as to steer readers to choose an OB. Plus, she claims when things go wrong in birth, that it happens very quickly, and that is exactly the opposite I've heard from most midwives. Perhaps the difference is that midwives are actually THERE and paying attention to their laboring patients.... But anyway... I don't especially like the book, but I do appreciate that the authors encourage a lot of self-checking about emotions, physical feelings, etc. It encourages quite a bit more self-care than the standard OB books I've seen.

ANYWAY! The entire reason I started this post was so I could share pictures of the cakes I made for tonight. One was for this book club meeting, and the other was for the monthly potluck at my midwife's house, which was also tonight. The cakes were a huge hit at both events. :)

The larger one is a two-layer orange-scented chocolate cake with buttercream icing and filling, covered in marshmallow-almond fondant. The babies are made of the fondant as well and are 100% edible (and 100% yummy). The smaller cake is a two-layer also, with the same icing, filling, and fondant. One layer is the same orange-scented chocolate cake, and the other layer is vanilla-almond cake. Both were delicious.

Update on Baby Boy C (preemie)

This past weekend I was honored to go visit with Baby Boy C, his mama and papa, and the NICU staff up at the hospital in Salem. Baby Boy C is doing so well! He's over 4.25 lbs now and gets most of his feedings through a bottle (they are working on getting him to nurse). He's doing so well in fact, that they think he might get to go home in about a week. That is at the equivalent of 35 weeks gestation, which is just AMAZING for a pre-30-week preemie. They were originally told he wouldn't go home until around his due date. His parents seem to be doing great and are ready to handle their son at home. I'm still in such awe of their amazing strength. I just can't imagine going to visit my child in a hospital every day.

Idiots

The blood lab called today to say that someone screwed up and that they'll have to draw Ava's blood again. AAAAARRRRGHGHGHH! DO THEY REALIZE SHE IS 2 YEARS OLD AND THAT WAS A TERRIFYING EVENT?? Oh my GOD I am so mad. I'd punch the idiot who screwed up if given the chance...

And just to take a moment, I realize I am horribly overdue for pictures from our 2 camping trips (now 1+ and 3+ weeks ago). I've been meaning to write a write an entry on homebirth for a while too...but just haven't had time. I am being very good about WORKING while at work, and am still madly trying to finish school ASAP. I blame that for my lack of blogging and emailing.

Feet, tummies, height, weight, and iron

Or maybe I should just call this post "Update on our health." Today was the day of doctors appointments. This morning was Alder's 4 month appointment - he's 4 months already! All looks great. He's around 13.5 lbs and 2 feet tall and looks great. That size seems big to me, but it actually puts him down around the 10th-25th percentile depending on what chart you look at. Oh well. He's got fat rolls and a double-chin and it is ALL my milk powering him. I love it. He got his first vaccination today - a DTaP dose and he didn't even flinch. Hopefully we won't have the 105+ fever and screaming that plagued Ava after her first round of this.

Ava had an appointment with the phlebotomist today too. We're getting her iron levels checked since we live in an ancient house with definitely has lead paint. I admit, I was pretty freaked about how they were going to hold down a 2-year old while drawing a vial of blood. It did take two technicians and there were many tears involved, but she survived and was quite pleased the with the little rope bracelet they gave her as a reward for being so good.

I had my podiatrist appointment today too. I'd say it went pretty well, as I walked out WITHOUT a cast and WITHOUT an appointment for surgery. I have peroneal brevis tendonitis. I'm not real thrilled with the diagnosis of tendonitis, as it's one of those things that can stick around forever. But my case isn't too bad, and I've already figured out how to make it feel better rather than worse. My prescription is to take 2 weeks and stay off my feet, take Advil 3 times a day, and ice my foot twice a day. We'll reevaluate in 2 weeks. I could also get an immobilizer cast boot, but he doesn't think I quite need it. And I'll be getting new orthotics out of this deal too. Oh, and the foot cyst? I've had it since birth and it is in no way the cause of this foot pain.

And my tummy...is still bothering me. I still have occasional stomach cramps and diarrhea. Ugh. A few more days of this and it is off to the doctor again.

I'm feeling very much like a hypochondriac lately and I don't like it.

Tummy trouble

I've been ill for the last 36 or so hours - the kind of ill where the toilet becomes your new best friend from both ends. Is it food-related or some little bug I picked up? Or is it the dreaded Crohn's disease, which I'm constantly on the lookout for because my mom has a severe case and it can be hereditary. No matter what it is, it has given me abdominal cramps that rival labor so much that I've resorted to my Hypnobabies to get through them. Keith has had to help me a lot, as I'm afraid I'll drop Alder if a cramp hits while I'm holding him. Hoping for relief soon. It is getting better, just very slowly. Ugh.

Chiropractic care for pregnant moms and babies

Last night we had our monthly doula meeting. The guest speaker was Dr. Jenn of Hands-On Healthcare. We learned all about chiropractic care for pregnant moms and babies and let me tell you, it was fascinating! I'm a fan of chiropractic care, but to hear a presentation specifically geared for my client audience (and myself!) was great. And since I was there with my son (still under 4 months and nursing all evening), he got to be the demo doll. I'm excited to have some information that I can share with my clients about the availability of chiropractic care specifically for expectant moms, especially the Webster Technique for allowing breech babies the best opportunity to turn. I'm excited to move my care from the collection of chiropractors I've previously seen over to Dr. Jenn. And if I can convince Keith it is safe for kids, I'll be taking Ava and Alder over there too.

Tuesday, September 11th

6 years. But it feels like yesterday. I was 3,000 miles from the destruction, but it felt like I was right there. I grew up in the DC area and visited NYC on numerous occasions. I knew these areas well. My Dad worked in the Pentagon for crying out loud. Is it always going to feel this intense? Why does it feel like many of the other people around me have digested and moved on? Is it because most of these people (out here in Oregon) have perhaps fewer contacts to DC and NYC? Why does it drive me mad that other people aren't/weren't as affected. I remember walking around on this day in 2001 and being irate that people were going about their daily lives. 6 years and it feels like yesterday. When will it at least feel like last week?

Birthing centers

Today I toured Sacred Waters Birthing Center in Eugene. I am back-up doula for a client due in October, so I wanted to make sure I could find the place and that I was at least minimally familiar with the facilities. It was really a pleasant place. If I didn't love birthing babies in my own home so much, I might consider driving all the way down there. It has two beautiful birthing rooms and a separate waterbirth room. It was warmly furnished yet had all the safety equipment necessary for most complications. Yep, I could really see how it would feel like home to a laboring mom. But I don't think I could ever get myself in a car during labor.

Oh, and I saw pictures of my doula on the wall there - I guess she used to assist there. It was great to see old pictures of her, like it was a former life or something.

Doctor waiting lists

Is it a normal thing that doctors have long waits before they can see you? I'm not talking about in the waiting room, I'm talking about from when you call asking for an appointment to when the first appointment is actually available. Maybe it is just my luck, but lately I keep getting referred to doctors with huge waiting lists before appointments are available. Today the call was to a preferred podiatrist (to check out this foot cyst thing) and it was a 6-week wait. I've made several calls in the past to chiropractors that have 3 or 6-week waits. Um...that is just a wee little bit too long when you are in CRAZY EXCRUTIATING PAIN. My favorite chiropractor has this problem - he usually has a 3-week wait. But he is my favorite, so sometimes I will wait. He's a naturopath too, so appointments are really worth double. Anyway, I'm not up for a 6-week wait for this foot cyst thing, so I'm off to #2 preferred podiatrist next Monday.

Source of the foot pain?

According to my x-ray from last week, I've got soft tissue swelling and a calcaneal unicarmeral bone cyst. Say what??? I'm waiting for the doc to call me back and discuss more. Bleh!

Playground jungle

I unleashed my mommy defenses on a grade-schooler on the playground today. The kid was pushing Ava, as she STOOD BACKWARDS at the TOP of a very tall curly slide. I just had these images of Ava flying off the top of the slide, head-first, straight down into the dirt. I couldn't help myself. I just yelled out, "DO NOT PUSH HER" and boy was I loud. The mom of the kid I was yelling at heard me and came over to see what was happening. I immediately apologized for yelling at her daughter, but she thanked me and said it probably taught her a lesson being yelled at by another parent. I felt really bad...but really...my 2-year old wasd about to be shoved backwards standing up off a very tall platform. It terrified me. And then later another kid followed Ava around hissing at her. Lovely.

I don't think I'm ready for the playground bullies to be unleashed on my innocent little toddler.

Camping one last time

We're headed out to the woods one last time this season (literally, because the campground closes for the winter on Monday). The weather is supposed to be perfect up in the mountains. We are headed to Ice Cap Creek campground with the nearby reservoir. Should be another good time. Pics to follow when we return I hope.

Kitty update

Well, our vet FINALLY called with the results of my cat's urine and blood analysis. She's pretty much perfect. So the peeing on Ava's bed must be some sort of attitude thing. Greeeeat. How do you correct cat attitude?

The vet also gave us some pressure about scheduling that dental and lumpectomy (the other $1000 of the proposed bill). I told her that when it was free, we'd schedule it. Until then, we needed to save for a while.

Low milk supply

Life as a low milk supply mom is hard. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this fate...if there was anything I could have done to make my milk supply flow freely. I can certainly say that low milk supply moms suffer. It is torturous.

It all started with my daugther. I never imagined I wouldn't have enough milk. When she was born, I'd done all the reading and was ready and excited to breastfeed. Ava appeared to have a great latch from the start too, and boy did she love to breastfeed! Unfortunately, I had some excrutiating pain problems (which will be the subject of another post). At 3 days old, Ava had lost 8 ounces. At 7 days, she was up 4 oz. At 10 days, she was up 2 more oz. At 23 days, she was only up 2 more oz. So obviously around the 1.2-3 week area, my supply was no longer able to keep up with her demand. It showed too - she was ALWAYS trying to nurse, was always crying when she wasn't nursing, had pooped a grand total of three times in her life (minus meconium), and was always rooting. I never leaked. I was never engorged. I never felt letdown. I never heard Ava swallow. So at 23 days old, after a strong talk from my very pro-breastfeeding pediatrician and lactation consultant, we started supplementing with a little bit of formula. I had intended on getting my supply up enough that we could wean off the formula, but it never happened. I tried everything - pumping ALL THE TIME, nursing ALL THE TIME (despite serious pain), herbs, teas, meditation, and a prescription drug called Domperidone. The drugs helped, but not quite enough. So Ava continued to get 4-10 oz of formula every day and gained only 1/2 oz/day at best. It hurt every time I had to give her the formula because it was something I never ever wanted to do.

Fast forward to Alder's birth. I was prepared with what I might face again. We watched carefully to see what was happening with his weight and nursing. At 3 days, he'd lost 12 oz. At 7 days, he was still down 12 oz, he still had jaundice, and he hadn't pooped yet (minus meconium). The pediatrician told us to supplement right away. I asked for a few more days to work on it. I had my Domperidone and herbs at home and started them right away. I pumped after every feeding. I woke the baby every 2-3 hours to make sure he was feeding at least 10-12 times/day. I used breast compression. Thankfully, Alder gained 1 ounce/day for the next 2 months after that. It has slowed down now, and I'm worried about it. But he's still gaining in the acceptable range. So I've managed to avoid formula so far (at almost 4 months!). Now that I'm away from Alder (at school) a few hours a day, he's taking in more expressed milk from bottles than I can pump. I'm slowly losing ground and my freezer supply is disappearing. Soon it will be gone. Thankfully, my good friend and doula has volunteered to donate her extra milk to us. I will be grateful for that gift forever. But I just wish I didn't have to worry about it at all.

A true, low milk supply is actually quite rare, though the term gets thrown around a lot. Unfortunately, many doctors and nurses are not very educated in breastfeeding and mistakenly advise moms to supplement when they don't need to. So many women think they have a low supply, but very few actually do. I've breastfed for a total of 16 months now between my two kids, and I've tried EVERYTING and seen all the experts to try and figure this out. I always keep this little glimmer of hope that it will get better. Perhaps with my next child. But so far, it appears I'm one of the unlucky few with a true low supply. And we absolutely cannot figure out why, because I don't fit the typical profile for a low supply.

In treating my low supply, I've had GREAT success with the drug Domperidone. This drug is normally prescribed for gastro-intestinal issues, but it has the side effect of increasing prolactin levels and therefore milk production. For me, it has been a wonder-drug with absolutely no side effects besides the increase in milk. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to get. The FDA has not approved its use for lactation (though the AAP has approved its use in breastfeeding mothers), and for some unknown reason, they have cracked down on physicians and pharmacies that still prescribe and distribute it. Jack Newman, perhaps the world's leading breastfeeding expert, has a few choice words for the FDA on this issue. It has been used safely and effectively around the world for decades, and has far fewer side effects than the other drug Reglan that is commonly perscribed for increasing lactation (which is also not FDA-approved for lactation, but they aren't being jerks about that drug). With my daugther Ava, our pediatrician was hesitant but did write the prescription for me, which I filled via the internet with a Canadian pharmacy. With Alder, I jumped ahead by ordering from this New Zealand company that ships from Vanuatu, thereby avoiding the need for a prescription. Plus, it is far cheaper this way.

I wish low milk supply wasn't something I had so much experience with. Like I said, I have this hope that with my next child, perhaps it won't be a problem. But if I continue to have problems, I feel well-prepared to deal with it. My heart goes out to any mom who suffers with this problem. I understand the heartache and feelings of inadequacy. It hurts.

The leaves are starting to change

How can this be? The leaves are starting to change. Summer is almost over. It was only 50 degrees this morning. I'M NOT READY FOR FALL!!! I'M NOT READY FOR THE RAIN! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Vet bills

We have two cats, in addition to the dozen or so fish that I have blogged about before. My cat, Terri, is 16 years old. Keith's cat, Milo, is 5 years old. They were long overdue for a vet appointment when Terri just randomly started peeing on Ava's bed every day (ewww!). So we juggled childcare again so I could take both cats to the vet. Milo looks great, though he's a bit pudgy (just under 14 lbs) and needs his teeth cleaned. Terri looks great for a geriatric kitty, but she needs her teeth cleaned badly, has one that probably needs removed, and she's got two suspicious lumps growing on her side. And there is the peeing problem. So blood and urine samples were taken, neither of which I've heard any results on. The lumps could be needle biopsied, or we could just take them out. Then we could choose to test them, or just toss them. Um, she's 16 years old. I ain't doing any crazy cancer treatments on a 16-year old cat. So the plan is to take them out and toss them when she has her teeth cleaned. But here is my problem. The grand total for all these procedures and tests? $1300. And this is with the budget vet in town! I love our cats and all, but $1300 is not in our budget or wildest imagination right now. We're saving for a bigger carseat for Alder, which he'll need by winter I think. But knowing my kitty is probably in some discomfort (that tooth looks heinous), can I pass up her health needs? And when the blood and urine tests come back, what if she has some kidney issue that is causing the peeing problem? At 16 years old, how much should you spend on a cat...a cat that has followed you across the country and been your best companion since early high school?

Arthritis, plantar fasciitis, or broken foot?

My foot hurts. It has been hurting for 2.5 weeks. It isn't excruciating, but it is very annoying. I can't walk properly, so it is making my other foot and my knees and hips hurt too. I hurt it by going for a long walk (longer than I'd done since early in my pregnancy) with bad shoes and carrying a heavy load. Stupid, I know. I finally made an appointment to see my doctor, and though his nurse had mentioned the possibility of plantar fasciitis on the phone, the doc thought it might be broken, or that perhaps I was getting arthritis already. AAAACCCCKKK! I'm only 31! So I got sent for x-rays, which required some juggling of childcare so I could go to the hospital by myself. Thankfully x-rays only took about 45 minutes. But of course, because it was Friday afternoon, and this is a holiday weekend, results may not be in until Thursday of next week. Geez. Until then, I'll just keep hobbling around like a monster.

Chocolate chip pancakes

Typing with 1 hand, so this will be short.

On nearly every weekend day, my family assumes our ritual morning activities with no need for discussion. I nurse the baby while watching over the toddler (as she drags all her toys out from hiding), and Keith makes chocolate chip pancakes. I can smell them right now...he's gonna bring me my plate in just a few minutes. Mmmm... I love that we have this ritual. It is so warm and comforting and yummy. And I love that Keith is the one that cooks them. It makes me feel so cared for.

And here they come...