Baby Boy L's Birth

The Birth of Baby Boy L

Saturday, March 1oth, 2007 at 11:42 pm

7 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches

Original due date: March 16th

2nd baby, hospital birth

Mommy L is my good friend and I have felt so honored to be invited into her pregnancy and her birth. Because this was her second baby and Daddy S wished to provide most of her support, we had previously discussed my role as being one of back-seat support as long as things were going well. As Mommy L’s due date neared, I anxiously awaited that phone call. With a 90+ minute drive to her house, I hoped to have enough time to get there. Turns out that wasn’t a problem…

At 3:30 am on Saturday, March 10th, I received a phone call. It was Mommy L’s personalized ring, so I jumped up to get it. She was 39+ weeks pregnant now and had been feeling increasingly regular Braxton-hicks contractions all week. Mommy L wasted no time on the phone – she said she thought this was it. She sounded positive and excited. Her contractions had woken her up at 2:30 am and were immediately 5 minutes apart and quite intense. We discussed the plan for the next couple of hours. She and Daddy S were going to pack their bags, shower, eat a little something, and then try to relax. I was going to leave for the long drive right away. We decided to touch base again in about an hour so I could tell her where I was on the drive, and she could update me on what she was feeling. I grabbed some food and left immediately.

At 4:45 am I called Mommy L and she indicated things were still going strong. They were now showered, dressed, and fed. There were about to settle in and focus on relaxation and timing the contractions again. I was about 50 minutes away and they did not feel it was time to leave for the hospital yet, so we agreed I would meet them at their house.

At 5:30 am I arrived at Mommy L and Daddy S’s house. Mommy L answered the door and she looked just radiant! I could definitely see the birth hormone glow in her face. After big greeting hugs, we checked in. Mommy L said they had been timing contractions for a bit using an online program and things seemed to still be mostly the same. She showed me the program – I made a mental note to find it for myself later because it was very cool! Scanning the record of her contractions, it appeared things were coming somewhat erratically. Some contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and as short as 20-30 seconds, and others were 5-7 minutes apart and closer to 1 minute. Mommy L told me those that were closer together were a bit weaker, and that was often when she was up and getting things packed. Those contractions that were further apart were more intense and often required her to stop and focus on breathing and relaxing. She did not feel it was time to go to the hospital yet, so we decided to just settle in and visit for a bit. Daddy S returned to bed for a bit more sleep, so Mommy L and I just relaxed on the couch and talked about the new baby and how exciting this day was.
From a doula perspective, I was interested in just observing Mommy L as she handled things for a bit. We popped a movie in and I quietly continued to time some contractions. Sometimes it was hard to tell when she was having one because she was taking them so calmly. Part of me had some concern about this, leading me to wonder if perhaps this was very early labor or even a false-start. But I’d learned in previous births that some mothers are able to keep walking and talking through contractions straight up until transition, so I tried to focus on what Mommy L was telling me about the intensity of the contractions. We checked in about the contractions after about an hour or so, and Mommy L said they seemed to be slightly less intense now. In fact, it seemed the intensity had dropped off as soon as I’d arrived. But they were still consistent at approximately 4-6 minutes apart, so we continued to relax (since it was still the middle of the night) and see where things went.

A bit after 7 am, Sister A woke up. Mommy L attended to her. Sister A came out and joined us on the couch for a bit. She was content to just sit in Mom’s lap and Mommy L seemed quite comfortable with this. Sister A’s presence did not seem to be difficult for Mommy L to handle at all, so again I was feeling a little concern over where things were going. Soon Sister A was asking for breakfast, and Mommy L happily got up to prepare it for her. Daddy S woke up before too long and joined us for a nice group pancake breakfast. While Mommy L was cooking (I offered to help, but she said it was fine and that she felt good), I observed again for a while. Her contractions had spaced out even more – now to around 10 minutes – and seemed to bother her very little. Every once in a while, however, a hard one would hit that made her pause and breath. We discussed the situation. By 9 am, Mommy L’s contractions were still 10+ minutes apart and were losing intensity. Plus, Mommy L was really starting to show some fatigue from lack of sleep. We discussed going for a walk to see what happened, but Mommy L looked like she needed a nap more than a walk. J We also talked about running a bath to see if that changed her labor pattern at all. We decided that I would head over to a friend’s house for a bit and run some errands in the Portland area while Mommy L tried to nap. After the nap, we would touch base and see where things were headed from there. So at around 9:30 am I headed out…and wound up crashing for my own nap on my friend’s couch.

At around noon I called and spoke to Mommy L again. She sounded more rested, but said she’d been unable to do more than doze because she’s a bad napper. Her contractions were spacing out even more and now seemed to be 10-15 minutes apart. Mommy L said she was just going about her normal day at home and that Sister A would be going to visit Daddy S’s parents a bit later so they could relax and have some time as an expectant couple. I suggested I take care of my errands and then call her once more before driving back to Corvallis. So at 1:30 pm, I called Mommy L and she said little had changed. She and Daddy S were hanging out with a movie. Her contractions were still coming at around 15-20 minutes apart, but that they were mostly quite mild. She felt things could go on for hours, days, or perhaps even stop. Mommy L said she felt right with being restful right now, but that they might try and take a walk later in the afternoon. We decided it was probably best if I headed back to Corvallis for the afternoon. The plan was to see how things went, and if they stayed the same Mommy L would probably have no trouble sleeping through the night. Then, if the contractions were still coming in the morning, we would try some active approaches to get things moving. So back to Corvallis I went.

While back at home, I helped Keith prepare dinner for some doula friends who were coming over for dinner at our house. I hadn’t been sure if I would be there for the dinner or not, but these friends were coming over no matter what and they would certainly understand if I had to rush back to a birth. The friends were coming over at 6 pm. At 5:30 pm, Mommy L called to give me an update. She said things had picked back up again when they went to get Sister A from Daddy S’s parent’s house and hit the grocery store. Her contractions were now 4-6 minutes apart and stronger than they had been during the morning. She’d already had Daddy S’s parents come back and get Sister A again. She’d also talked with the midwife and told her about what happened that morning. The midwife suggested they spend a few more hours at home before coming to the hospital. Mommy L later told me this really forced her to get some perspective on the labor – and realize that she probably had several hard and long hours ahead of her. Mommy L suggested I stay home a bit longer, but she’d call me in another hour with an update. An hour later, things were still moving strong, so they planned to leave for the hospital around 8 pm. Mommy L suggested that would be a good time for me to leave my house. I asked Mommy L how she was feeling about all this right now. She said she was getting a little anxious about it and wondering how intense it was going to get, but that she was feeling in better control now and that she’d probably try taking a bath. So we hung up again and planned to check in when she left for the hospital.

At 7:40 pm, Mommy L called back again and said she felt ready to go so they were headed to the hospital. She suggested I wait until they’d gotten checked in since the hospital was so close – she didn’t want to bring me back up there again if her cervix was still closed and this was another false start. I told her that sounded good, but that if I got really anxious and felt like I should leave, I just would. She still sounded upbeat to me on the phone, so I was definitely curious what was going on in there. I hoped to hear good news that she was progressing and that active labor was well underway.

A little before 9 pm, Mommy L called back. She sounded downright happy when she announced she was 7 cm! WAHOO!!! I was so excited to hear this. And then I remembered – I have a 90+ minute drive! Mommy L said things were picking up in intensity quite a bit and that they’d probably get in the labor tub shortly. She said again that she was feeling pretty good and in control. I packed my bags and left immediately. I wasn’t intentionally speeding, but there was one moment where I nearly thought I was going to get a ticket.

At 10:30 pm, I arrived at the hospital. I made my way through the emergency room entrance, passed security (who had to call up and confirm that Mommy L was a patient in maternity), up the green elevators, and to the nurses desk. With my name tag (that read only Mommy L’s room #, not my name), I was quickly shown to her room. Mommy L’s room was empty, though I could see I was in the right place. For a brief second, I was worried that something had gone wrong and perhaps Mommy L was in surgery. And then I remembered the labor tubs were down the hall, and I felt certain I’d find them there. So I returned to the nurses desk and Mommy L’s nurse brought me down the hall to find her. In the tiny tub room I found Mommy L, Daddy S, and one of the student midwives in quiet conversation. Mommy L looked like she was working hard now. I could see a tiny ounce of worry on her face, possibly from not knowing how much worse it was going to get, but her body was telling me she was still totally relaxed. The midwife soon left us and Daddy S and Mommy L filled me in. At check-in, Mommy L’s water bag was bulging, but it still hadn’t broken yet. She had not had any bloody show yet either. But Mommy L said things were really kicking up now and that she was having a much harder time handling things. She found sitting upright to be the most comfortable position and so was simply sitting in the tub with her legs bent in front of her. I scanned around quickly and saw that they had water, towels, and a gown. I sat down next to Daddy S to be a simple presence of comfort for both of them and intended to observe for a few minutes before making any suggestions. Mommy L said again that things were getting tough and I reminded her that this might be a good time to try vocalizing during her contractions. We had talked about this in our prenatal meetings and it was something Mommy L was interested in trying, but was afraid she might feel funny. I suggested I would vocalize with her and she said that was a good idea. So with her next contractions, we (all 3) sat and took our breath simultaneously and softly moaned into the quiet air.

Before I could say anything else, Mommy L indicated that she felt it was time to get out. She wasn’t feeling pushy or anything, she just felt it was time to get out of the tub since she was going to have to eventually anyway. After a brief miscommunication about whether we needed a nurse and who would towel Mommy L off, Daddy S and I assisted getting Mommy L dressed and ready for the brief walk to her room. It became apparent that Mommy L’s contractions were really coming quickly now. She was physically shaking a bit. During contractions, Mommy L really focused and turned inside herself, and appeared to almost fall asleep. I didn’t get the chance to really time anything at this point because things were happening to quickly, but I estimate Mommy L’s contractions were only a couple of minutes apart and just over 1 minute long at this point. It was now around 10:55 pm. We started the walk down the hall towards her room, and the contractions seemed to only give her about 30 seconds break in between. When a contraction hit, Mommy L would lean into Daddy S with her arms against her chest, and together they would stand and moan softly. It was such a beautiful embrace to see this young couple supporting each other as they worked together to bring their child into this world. As we headed down the hall, the student and attending midwife joined us. The midwife asked me how things were going and I said that Mommy L was doing fantastic, but that the contractions were coming REALLY close together now. She stayed to watch for a moment.

After 2 back-to-back contractions, the midwife asked Mommy L if she felt like she was going to have a baby here in the hallway. Mommy L said no, but that the contractions were just so close together it was crazy. The two midwives, two nurses (shift change), Mommy L, Daddy S and I moved into her room. For a moment, I felt this sense of uncertainty. Mommy L was doing her best to handle things, but suddenly she had quite an audience. Thankfully, this birth team was very supportive with their wishes and offered only encouraging words. The midwife asked Mommy L some questions about what she was feeling. Her questions led me to think she thought Mommy L was completely dilated. The midwife suggested Mommy L try sitting on the birth ball or on the bed, but Mommy L was hesitant because she felt it was just unbearable. After further questioning from the midwife, we all realized it was the incredible pressure of the baby’s head that was making these positions difficult. The midwife suggested that she could check Mommy L’s dilation. Mommy L was hesitant, but when the midwife suggested she was probably fully dilated, Mommy L consented. The baby’s heartbeat was checked at the same time. The contractions were really coming quickly during this time, so the midwife had to be very fast. She announced that there was no cervix left – Mommy L was fully dilated!

This realization started the conversation about whether she should try pushing. The primary midwife suggested that Mommy L could probably begin pushing and that this birth could be over very quickly. She also suggested perhaps that because her bag of water hadn’t broken yet, that this could be why she wasn’t feeling the urge to push yet. When asked if Mommy L wanted her waters broken, she said she was a bit afraid of how much more difficult it would make the pressure. The student midwife also reminded us that she could just wait. Mommy L contemplated these ideas as she settled into the bed. A discussion of pushing positions was also started, ranging from hands-and-knees, to lying back, to squatting. Mommy L decided to try moving into a squatting position and see if that brought the baby any lower, so the squat bar was attached to the bed. But as Mommy L moved into this position, her contractions came on very powerfully and she was obviously extremely uncomfortable. She began to vomit. Daddy S was right at her side to provide comfort, and the nurse assisted. As the contraction ended, Mommy L shifted back into the reclined position and propped her feet on the edge of the squat bar for support. This seemed like a good position that she could rest in during her breaks. After much deliberation, Mommy L decided to try pushing and see what it felt like.

At around 11:10 pm while surrounded by supportive people, Mommy L gave a few gentle pushes with the next contraction. It seemed to be Mommy L’s instinct to hold her breath with each push, but when she announced after the contraction ended that pushing was relieving her of the pain, I figured it best she continue doing what worked! Daddy S continued to offer Mommy L close support as I stayed back with the water cups and cameras. Supportive, encouraging words were flowing from every mouth in the room. After a handful of gentler pushes, the primary midwife encouraged Mommy L to really give a good, full-body push. She suggested that Mommy L really could have this birth over in a matter of minutes. Though Mommy L was hesitant because she had not yet felt an urge to push, the idea of finishing this birth was visibly enchanting on her face. Mommy L decided to give it her all.

With the next push, progress was made! Mommy L’s bottom began to swell and it wasn’t long before the midwives said they could see a tiny square of the baby’s head. A mirror was brought in so Mommy L could watch. The midwife kept strong verbal guidance up during this time, keeping Mommy L pushing for a good, solid 3 shots during each contraction. During all this time, the contractions remained very close together and in the ballpark of 1 minute long. In between contractions, Mommy L would now relax back and appeared to nearly fall asleep as she gathered strength for the next effort. Roaring as she pushed, Mommy L was really gathering her energy from within. It was amazing to witness the power she was drawing from every inch of her body. As the baby’s head really started to stretch her skin, Mommy L struggled a bit with this sensation. Suddenly with a pop, Mommy L’s water broke and a tiny bubble shot across the room, startling everyone. It was just after 11:30 pm now. The new sensation of crowning continued to challenge Mommy L, but she just took every second as it was handed to her. It was obviously quite a difficult time, but there never seemed to be doubt that she could and would do this.

Just after her water broke, Mommy L’s body took over. Pushing became more than just an urge, it became an uncontrollable necessity. Mommy L did her best to handle this change. As the baby’s head fully crowned, Mommy L was given great direction from the midwives, who were both supporting her perineum to stretch. Mommy L was told to try shallow breaths and keep from pushing for a moment so that her skin could stretch. I could tell this was really hard for her – I suspected her body was on automatic dump and just wanted to get that baby out. Gathering strength between contractions, an air of excitement built in the room. It seemed the baby would be born in the next contraction. We all just sat silently during that brief break, as if every person in the room was gathering energy for Mommy L to use with the next big push. As the next contraction started, Mommy L let out a yell as the baby’s head popped through. I managed to get a photo of the baby’s head just emerging from his mother’s body. She took another deep breath and then worked on the shoulders. Once the shoulder’s were out, Daddy S reached down at the midwife’s encouragement and grabbed the baby, placing him right on Mommy L’s best. At 11:42 pm, the baby was here!

Because they didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl, one of the first things to do was take a peak. It was a boy! Baby Boy L was welcomed into the world. A little bit of gurgling brought on some brief suctioning, but little Baby Boy L was perfect. After a minute or two of strong cries, he settled quietly into his mother’s arms. Daddy S was all grin. Mommy L was herself again – the discomfort of her experience melted away by the little gift wiggling in her arms. I took pictures as quickly as I could of the new, expanded family. Because Baby Boy L’s cord continued to pulse for several minutes, the cord clamping was delayed considerably. Finally, once it had stopped pumping, Daddy S was handed the scissors to cut his son’s cord. A short time after that, Mommy L gave a push and out popped the healthy placenta.

In the clean-up time right after the birth, Mommy L got nothing but praise from everyone in the room. The student midwife said it was absolutely an inspirational birth. Mommy L had made it appear so peaceful and natural. The staff immediately asked her about food and Mommy L requested a vanilla milkshake. The new family continued to cuddle as Mommy L received 3 tiny stitches for a small tear. Baby Boy L just soaked in his new surroundings. He was then weighed and measured (7 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches), given a tiny little diaper, and wrapped in a swaddle. Daddy S cradled his new son as I brushed the hair from Mommy L’s head and talked with her about this amazing experience. She was simply glowing with pride – pride for her new son, pride for her amazing birth experience, and I think a little pride for having made a bit of noise. As the clean-up quieted down, Mommy L held little Baby Boy L to her breast and he latched on like a pro. After a little more discussion, picture-taking, and just enjoying this new family, I gave them big hugs and was on my way.