Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Alder's Birth Story

The Birth of Alder Rowan
Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
8 lbs 6 oz and 20 inches
Original due date: June 2nd
2nd baby, home hypno-waterbirth

Cast of characters:
Christine = Mom
Keith = Dad
Ava = Big Sister
Lisa = Midwife
Ellie = Midwife’s assistant & doula
Stephanie = support friend
Katie = support friend
Kimberly = back-up doula


Alder is my second child, so I went into this birth with some idea of what I would experience. When I started having some noticeable contractions, some that I would even call uncomfortable, as early as 35 weeks, I felt certain this baby would come early. My first baby was 12 days early and still a respectable 7lbs 4 oz, and my last ultrasound during this pregnancy was predicting an even larger baby, so we just knew he would be early.

From 35-37 weeks I had bouts of prodromal labor. Some days contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart for many hours, but they were never very uncomfortable. Some days they were very uncomfortable (even making me nauseous) but were not consistent. When I hit 37 weeks, I breathed a sigh of relief to officially be “full term.” As far as I was concerned this baby was welcome to arrive anytime now.

On May 15th, I woke with some interesting cramps, but they petered out later in the day. On May 16th, I woke to find my mucus plug was coming out in HUGE chunks. I’d never seen so much mucus. It was astonishing that I had that much stuff stored up inside me. I alerted my midwife and birth team that I was seeing mucus and that I was uncomfortably crampy. In my daughter’s birth, this was a sign that labor was about 1 day away. That evening, Keith and I set everything up, knowing it wouldn’t be long.

I woke at 6 AM on Thursday, May 17 th to moderately uncomfortable menstrual cramps that were consistently 5 minutes apart. After 30 minutes of laying in bed and timing them, I decided to get up and make breakfast. In my daughter’s birth, I got nauseous very early in the labor and wasn’t able to keep anything down so for this birth, I wanted to start with a fully tummy. I also paid a visit to the bathroom where I had some very large and loose stools – a good sign this was the real thing. By 7:15 AM or so I’d had breakfast and fiddled around the house, and the contractions were still the same (ranging from 4-6 minutes apart). I knew this was it. I was 37 weeks 5 days pregnant.

I was pleased that in between contractions, I really felt quite normal. This hadn’t been the case in my last birth, since I’d been nauseous and had a baseline of cramping that never seemed to go away. I started my birth treatments for GBS (Hibiclens wash every 2 hours). Two days ago I learned I was GBS positive again, so as a treatment, I used this wash to reduce my bacterial colonization in my vagina. Because I was positive, I’d also decided not to have any vaginal exams during the labor, unless it was really necessary.

At 8 AM I called Lisa (midwife) to tell her I thought this might be the day. I described my consistent cramps and how I’d lost my mucus plug the day before. She agreed it looked encouraging, especially since I’d been changing my activities through the morning but the contractions had stayed the same. I didn’t feel we needed her at the house yet, so we agreed to touch base again by lunchtime, if not before.

By this point I’d stopped doing chores and started focusing on allowing this birth to happen. I put my headphones on and listened to my Hypnobabies Birth CD. I relaxed on the couch. I posted to some of my internet buddies that I thought perhaps today was the day. I alternated between sitting on the couch, sitting on the floor, kneeling on the floor with my head on the couch, and visiting the bathroom. I guess I zoned out for a bit, cause time just went by.

By 9:30 AM , I guess I was starting to work harder through contractions. At this point, all time gets a little fuzzy for me. Keith was asking me questions about how things were going and whether we should start calling people to come over, and I guess I was getting snappy with him about not asking me questions. So he called Lisa and asked her to come on over. He also called Ellie, Stephanie, and Katie. We also let Kimberly know that the birth would be today, but that it didn’t seem we would need her help at this time.

Lisa arrived at a little after 10 AM . I had my headphones on and was face-down on the couch, but I cracked my eyes to smile at her as she came in with her bags of equipment. I told her that I thought it was still early, but I think she knew it really wouldn’t be that long. I continued to focus on my contractions and began telling the midwife when they started and stopped so that she could time them. Stephanie arrived for our daughter shortly after, and now that Ava was taken care of, Keith could begin setting up the birth pool. I had enjoyed seeing Ava that morning but had been pretty much unable to interact with her since she’d woken up. I wanted to have just 10 or 15 minutes to hug her and love her as my only child one last time, but my contractions wouldn’t give me that luxury anymore.

Lisa took my blood pressure (130/80 – higher than during the pregnancy, but okay) and asked me about what I was feeling. I visited the bathroom frequently and saw mucus on occasion. Sometime around 10:45 AM , Ellie showed up. Because Alder chose May 17th as his birthday, the usual assistant who works with our midwife was not available (just for this one day!). We’d discussed this beforehand and decided that Ellie, who is also an apprentice midwife, would act as assistant. So she arrived, checked in with me, and worked with the midwife to set up for the birth. Around 11 AM Katie showed up to help with Ava and taking video. So now, everyone was here.

Meanwhile, my contractions were really intensifying. I’d switched my music to Dema Premal – something one of my good friends had used during her own birth two years ago. Almost immediately I was overcome with the overwhelming need to cry. I was just feeling so many emotions at once. I found that sitting in lotus position on the floor really brought the contractions on strong. I told Lisa that things were really picking up, and that I might want to get in the birth tub soon. It was being filled with very hot water, and I suggested that it should be cooled down cause I didn’t think it would be that long. Stephanie, Katie and Ava walked to the park for a bit, but didn’t go far.

By noon , I was really struggling. I abandoned my relaxing music. Contractions were so much more intense than I remembered from my first birth – at least at this point in the labor. Some of them were just crazy! I was moaning through them by now. I started verbalizing that I was ready for the birth to be over, and that I was ready to hold my baby. I also started spending more time on the toilet because it gave me a little relief from the contractions. I was also feeling increased pressure down low. It seemed like I might be pretty far along, but the morning had been so short…I didn’t think I could possibly be close to birthing. I wanted to save some good work to be done in the birth tub, but I didn’t want to get in too early. Lisa started spending a little more time checking in with me, especially in the bathroom. I continued to see a little more mucus, and eventually it started taking on the slightest shade of pink. Finally! Evidence that progress was being made. At around this time, Stephanie, Katie, and Ava got back home from the park and started to prepare lunch.

Sometime around 12:40 PM , I was hit by an unbelievable contraction – like nothing I could ever remember feeling. At the peak, I felt an uncontrollable urge to push. Thankfully, it was short and disappeared with the contraction, because I was still sitting on the toilet and didn’t want to have my baby there! Lisa and I walked out to the tub. I climbed in and was instantly welcomed by warm peace. The pool was AWESOME! It reduced my discomfort immensely, and the next several contractions were more spaced out and much gentler. I settled into a kneeling position with my arms and head draped over the side of the soft blue tub. Keith kneeled with me, head-to-head, as we prepared to welcome our son.

Stephanie had put Ava down for her nap but just a few minutes later, she was pulled out again. At right around 1 PM , the full power of my contractions returned. They were incredible – really, it was almost unbearable because of the intensity. I was muttering about pushing soon, but was also worried it was too early. At 1:03 PM , I asked if I could push (saying it more as warning that I was about to push than asking permission if I could push). I remembered that at the last birth I’d attended (as a doula), the mother said she felt relief from her pain when she gave some gentle pushes. I decided to give it a try. It was a confusing sensation for me though – it did seem to relieve my pain a little, but it also was triggering the urge to push, which itself is quite powerful. After only a few gentle pushes of my own, my body took over and pushing began in earnest. About one minute later, I felt my water break in a large bubble, and I could feel burning in my perineum. Lisa reached down to support my stretching skin. Now the pushing was unstoppable. I was really ROARING with each intensive pushing wave. I could feel the baby descending fast. I could feel the twists and the turns he was making as he navigated my pelvic bones. I could feel he would be born any minute. He crowned for only a few seconds, and with one giant push his head was out. Unfortunately, I could feel my skin tear as his head emerged, but it didn’t feel very bad. Very quickly I was hit with another push and his body popped out. It was 1:06 PM . I had pushed for just 3 minutes.

I immediately turned over to sit down in the tub as Lisa brought the baby up between my legs and into my arms. I pulled him to me. I was relieved to feel the cord wasn’t as short as it had been with my daughter, but it was still short and I couldn’t lift him very high. Now that I was sitting up, I could see that Ava was in Stephanie’s arms and that she’d just witnessed the birth of her brother. Katie was wielding the video camera. Keith was at my side, as was Ellie. Lisa was navigating the baby end of things. Alder was in my arms! He was here! I was overcome with relief that the birth was OVER. Wow…it had just rocked my world.

His face and body were perfect. He was covered in thick vernix. His cord was HUGE – Lisa said it was the fattest she’d ever seen. I had an immediate separation bleed in the tub, so the water started turning red. We all just sat and looked at this beautiful creature as Lisa checked him over. The cord was pumping good and strong. He let out a few cries as we checked out his digits and confirmed that yes, he was a BOY! Within a few minutes, I began feeling some cramps and tried gently pushing to expel the placenta. Some clots came first. I latched Alder on, in hopes it would promote more cramping. Thankfully (since it took an hour with Ava’s birth), the placenta arrived about 20 minutes after Alder was born. My bleeding was minimal. The third stage was over and was far better than with Ava. Now that the placenta was out, Keith cut the cord. I climbed out of the tub shortly after that.

The next couple of hours were spent resting, cleaning up, and meeting our new son. Alder’s check-up was great. He weighed in at 8lbs 6 oz, despite being 16 days early. He was 20 inches long, had a 13.5 inch head, and 13.25 inch chest. He latched on and nursed heartily. Finally, the inspection of the torn tissues began. This was the part I was dreading, because I knew from Ava’s birth it would be painful to receive stitches. Unfortunately, I was right. I did tear, and it was towards the front. It was a small tear – first degree only, but because of its location, it begged for stitches. I had a small nick in the back and a skidmark to one side, but these did not need treatment. The tear in the front would make me beg for mercy though. Lisa gave me lidocaine to numb the area, but because lidocaine causes swelling, she couldn’t overdose the area or it would hinder her ability to stitch the tear properly. This didn’t bode well for me, as I’m one of those people who usually needs twice the pain meds to be numb. I could certainly feel every little needle stick. And to everyone’s horror, I could feel every single stitch...every pull of the thread…everything. It was an essentially unmedicated repair, and it seriously has scarred me for life. By the end, I was nearly screaming, whimpering, and telling Lisa to stop. Luckily that was the last stitch. It was over. The faces on everyone in the room told me this was a scene they wouldn’t soon forget. Next time someone brings shark needles anywhere near my genitals, I’ll know better what to tell them to do with them.

The rest of my recovery has been smooth. My tailbone hurt quite a lot the next few days (probably from Alder’s very rapid and powerful descent). My after cramps were CRAZY intense! My stitches have mostly healed on their own, though I think it will be a while before I inspect that area too carefully. Alder is a perfect baby, sleeping with relative ease and being very clear when he wants to feed. We are so happy to have him with us here. Welcome Alder!

Some of the coolest things I liked about Alder's birth:
Of course, being at home the whole time (again)
Wearing my own clothes and being on my own couch (again)
Never riding in the car (I can't even imagine getting near the car)
Having the whole party of birth attendants come to me
No vaginal exams to see how dilated I was
No IV
No interference - I made all my own decisions
Pushing for ONLY 3 minutes - it was crazy fast but then it was OVER
My water actually broke this time, so I got to experience that sensation
Alder was born right in our living room
No suctioning of the baby after birth – he spit everything up just fine
Cord wasn't cut until after the placenta was delivered
No separation of Mom, Dad, and baby
Immediate help with breastfeeding
Cuddling in my own bed with my new family

Next time, I’ll be more mentally prepared for the possibility of an even faster and more intense birth. This birth was definitely more intense and even more painful than Ava's, but it was FAR less tiring because it was only 7 hours long (compared to 17 hours with Ava). Just a few hours after the birth, I was already thinking about how I could do that again...in a few years. (smile)

Ava's Birth Story

I plan to post birth stories here, so I ought to start with my own.

The Birth of Ava Skye
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches
Original due date: August 4th or 7th
1st baby, home hypno-waterbirth

Cast of characters:
Christine = Mom
Keith = Dad
Lisa = Midwife
Liz = Midwife's assistant
Stephanie = support friend
Angela = support friend
I’ll begin when I had the first signs that Ava might be arriving soon. It was Sunday, July 24th and we had just returned from visiting Keith’s family for dinner. A trip to the bathroom later I discovered I was losing my mucus plug. At that point, I also started to notice an increase in the presence of that menstrual crampy feeling. Keith and I were excited but anxious…this was a real sign that we were going to have a baby soon. We knew that a mucus plug could still mean weeks before the baby came, but most often it meant only 1-2 more days. We went to bed that night and though I woke up feeling very cramping in the middle of the night, the feeling went away and I went back to sleep. I really couldn’t tell if it was contractions trying to get started or if it was just gas. Realizing that Ava might arrive very soon, I had a brief freak-out when I realized I had work to finish up at school. I wanted to meet my baby, but felt like I needed at least one more day at school to tie up loose ends. I asked Ava if she would give me just one more day.

Monday, July 25th we went to work and I did indeed finish up the things I needed to do. Lots of folks at school were surprised to see me when I told them I thought labor wasn’t far away…I was pretty uncomfortable with that crampy feeling getting rather intense at times depending on the position I was sitting in. It was uncomfortable, but definitely not time-able contractions. I wasn’t in labor yet. Parts of my mucus plug continued to come out during the day. We hadn’t called the midwife (Lisa) to tell her this yet because nothing else was happening yet and we had an appointment scheduled with her on Tuesday afternoon. As it turns out, we didn’t need the appointment.

Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 – 9 (or 12) days before my due date

I woke up at 3:30 am with that uncomfortable, gassy, menstrual feeling again and realized it was a bit too uncomfortable to be lying down for. So I got up and hopped on the internet for a while. Over the last several months, I’d been chatting with other women who were expecting in July or August on BabyCenter.com, so I jumped on there and wasted some time reading other birth stories and complaints about late-pregnancy discomforts. During the 4 o’clock hour I realized my crampy feeling was coming and going in waves, so I started to time when each of them started. By 5 am , I’d recognized they were 5 minutes apart. Though short (it was too difficult to time the length by myself in the dark with no watch so I don’t know how long they were), they were gaining in intensity. It was getting uncomfortable and I was beginning to believe I might have a baby today.

At 5:30 I woke Keith up and asked him if he would be awake with me for a while. He asked me what was going on and when I told him I thought we might have a baby today, the excitement in his voice was priceless. That was certainly a great way to get him up out of bed! He worked with me and timed a few contractions. By 6 am , they were 4-5 minutes apart and 60-70 seconds long and I really needed to focus on relaxing through them. I was on the border of no longer being able to talk through them, so we called Lisa to let her know what was happening.

She chatted with me through a couple of contractions and we decided she’d come over shortly to see what was going on (she only lives 6 blocks away). It seemed unlikely that my labor would just start like that so suddenly and intensely, but it was possible. At 7 am she stopped by and checked things out. She thought it was early labor and that given I’d been up most of the night, I should focus on trying to rest rather than pacing and using energy. I also needed to try and eat something. She checked my blood pressure and listened to the baby’s heartbeat too. We discussed what the plan would be for the day. Lisa had a full day of prenatal appointments scheduled (one of which was supposed to be mine), but she was willing to cancel them all if we wanted her to be there with us. Keith and I discussed things and after getting through a couple of contractions in a lying down position, we decided we’d be okay on our own and just try and rest and watch how things were going. We agreed we’d check in again by noon but that we could call her at any time before that if we wanted. After Lisa left, we also called our two labor support friends Stephanie and Angela to let them know what was happening, but called them back shortly after that to tell them not to come over quite yet. So everyone knew labor had started but for now, we were just resting and going to keep in touch.

I spent the morning on the couch or on the toilet. I was able to rest and tried eating some breakfast (bagel, cheese, protein shake) which I vomited at about 10:45 am. The contractions weren’t too bad on the couch. Keith stayed right by my side and helped me breath through them. I had to visit the bathroom often. I noticed that while on the toilet the contractions seemed to be a little less intense and possibly space out a bit more as compared to when I was walking around or on the couch. While on the couch, I was listening to my Hypnobabies Birthing Affirmations CD which I really enjoyed and was sipping on water and Recharge. Steph stopped by some time during the morning (time was a bit fuzzy for me from here on out) with some treats and CDs she made especially for us. Though normally a huge chocolate fan, the treats she brought over sounded horrible to me so I knew I must definitely be in labor.

Lisa called to check in with us at about 11:30 . She decided to stop over and visit in about an hour and see how things were going. She checked the baby’s heartbeat again (all was well) and asked about the morning. Contractions weren’t any closer together or farther apart, and she was happy to hear I’d been resting but the puking wasn’t really great news. We discussed plans for the afternoon and decided she’d go back for more appointments and we’d call when we felt we needed her. She also reminded me to continue all my GBS precautions. At our prenatal appointment one week prior, I’d learned I was positive for Group B strep (GBS) bacteria. This bacteria is normally present in about 1/3 of the population and is transient so sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. If a baby contracts it during birth, which is a very small risk in itself, there is a tiny chance the baby could get sick and possibly die. In hospitals, the normal treatment is antiobiotics during labor but there are other side effects associated with this treatment. We researched and decided on some alternative treatments which I had been practicing all week. It was also to my benefit to not have vaginal exams prior to or during labor and definitely not have my water broken. The chances of GBS transmission to the baby without any of these precautions is extremely small, but still, it seemed prudent to take simple steps to reduce any risks.

Early afternoon passed by with more of the same. Contractions were still about 5 minutes apart and required my full attention. I tried nibbling on a little more food but nothing sounded good (in fact all food made me feel sick) so not much actually went down. I got up and decided to get a bit more active with the contractions so I started walking around and trying different positions other than lying on the couch. Tried the birth ball but didn’t like it. Kneeling over the side of the couch was good, as was walking with Keith’s assistance during the contractions. My bowels continued to dump in slow motion. I felt like the intensity of the contractions might be building a little bit but wasn’t entirely sure. By mid afternoon, I was beginning to feel like the birth tub might be a good idea (I’d been in labor for 11 hours now) so we called Lisa at 2:30 and asked her about getting it set up. She said she’d be over in a bit. Throughout the afternoon, I listened to a guided imagery/relaxation CD that Britten, a friend from our birthing class, had given us. We also called Steph in the mid afternoon and asked if she’d like to come over and be some company.

Steph arrived at around 3-ish and began reading birth stories to me from Spiritual Midwifery. It was nice to hear the happy, homebirth stories while working with my own labor at home too. I continued moving around and visiting the bathroom often. Lisa arrived at around 3:30 and worked with Keith to get the tub set up. She checked in with me and I think it was obvious I was getting a little more serious and more tired. She checked the baby fairly often – Ava was always doing really well. We decided to set the tub up in our middle bedroom – the room that would eventually be Ava’s room.

Keith: The day was beginning to wear on and I was wondering if there was something more I should have been doing. Chris seemed very much on top of the waves so I was mostly trying to not distract her. She did not want to be rubbed or massaged so I focused on just being there. It seemed like walking around made her waves more intense so I encouraged her to do that. Lisa and I were trying to think of ways to step things up a bit. I knew that since Chris had not been keeping her food down that it was only a matter of time before she got worn out. She walked around a bit and I shadowed her so that when a wave hit, she could lurch towards me and hold on.

Christine: It was hot. July 26th turned out to be one of the hottest days of the year in Corvallis – 100 degrees. I’m not sure I really noticed. At around 5-ish Steph stepped out to feed and walk her dog. We also called Angela and told her to head on over. The birthing tub was finally filled but it was too hot, so I waited for it to cool down.

It was around this time I was beginning to wonder about whether I was going to make it through this labor at home. It had already been almost 14 hours and things didn’t seem to be progressing much. The contractions were more consistently 4-5 minutes but they still weren’t taking my breath away so I knew I had a long way to go. I voiced my concerns to Keith and to Lisa, wondering how much longer I could hold out with no food and contractions that were hard work. Lisa wanted me to try eating again. The only thing that sounded reasonable to me was chicken, so Lisa ran home and pulled some out of her fridge because she had some leftovers. The chicken went down pretty well, but within 20 minutes or so I puked it up too (and rather violently). Both Angela and Steph were here when I puked…I think it was a little surprising to them. As I finished, I said how I’d heard that throwing up actually made you dilate more, so it was a good thing. We all kinda chuckled at that.

We checked the temperature of the tub again and it was still too hot, so we decided to add some cool water. I continued walking and visiting the bathroom. Throughout the whole day, I got the mild shakes on occasion too – like I was cold but I don’t think I was. Sometime around 6 pm Lisa called her assistant Liz (another midwife who will come over as I get closer to the birth so both of them will be here) and tells her it might still be a while but that she should probably plan on coming up tonight.

My mental state during these evening hours was really starting to deteriorate. I was listening to my Birthing Affirmations CD again, but it was like I could no longer hear what the CD was saying. Knowing that my mother had 2 relatively quick births, I’d expected mine to be quick as well. I hadn’t mentally prepared for the possibility of a birth that took much more than half a day. Here I was already over the average length for a birth (12-14 hours), and I was still not even close! I began to think about how I was going to handle everything. I hadn’t eaten or slept much. I thought about transferring to the hospital, getting an epidural, and even getting a c-section. I was really starting to think about giving up my dream of a homebirth. When I realized where my thought process was taking me, I stopped and made a conscious decision that if I was going to give up and go to the hospital (which was the one thing I’d identified long ago as what I wanted to avoid – I didn’t want to go to the hospital by my choice – if we went to the hospital I wanted it to be because we medically needed to be there), I needed to give this natural, drug-free homebirth more of my effort first. I was afraid of how much longer and more intense things were going to get and I knew this fear was holding me back. Mentally, I decided to just dive in and accept what came my way. The only way this baby was coming out was by moving forward. So from that point on, I blocked all hospital/intervention thinking and the birth started moving forward again.

At 7 pm I decide the tub temperature was acceptable and I was getting in it. No one could stop me. Once I’m in though, I realize the water might be a bit cool so we go about draining some of it and filling it with hot again. Lisa and I discussed whether she was going to check my dilation, which was totally up to me, and I decided not to get checked. We figured the tub would either speed me up or slow me down, so I should just I’d get in and see what happened. Well, contractions didn’t dissipate at all in timing or intensity. Lisa checked the baby’s heartbeat again and it was still doing great. Steph and Ang decided to head to Fred Meyer (grocery store) for some snacks. I said I’d try eating some ice cream if they brought some back. I’d been sucking on Popsicles for a while and that seemed to be okay. So they headed out.

Keith: I was starting to get worried that the labor was not going to progress before Chris got worn out. Her contractions has been so regular for so long that I was also starting to space out and not be as present as I could have been. Chris asked me to give her more encouragement, so I began to focus on how to move things forward. It was clear by this point that she had been too much in control of the waves and needed to let go (not easy!). I finally took the risk to tell her this and she agreed. The energy in the room really shifted as Chris made the decision to let the birth go where it needed. I was very proud of her and us as a team. At the same time, I started encouraging her more. I knew at that point that somehow everything was going to work out.

Christine: After a bit of time in the tub I felt like another trip to the bathroom, so Keith helped me in to the toilet.

7:30 pm – Once on the toilet, I began shaking uncontrollably, almost violently. I couldn’t really tell if it was because I was cold (I was naked and wet from the tub) or if it was from the birth hormones. Keith covered me in a towel and robe and tried to help hold me still. After 1-2 moderate contractions and a major involuntary bowel dump, I went to wipe and found my toilet tissue covered in bright red clotty blood. Something was definitely happening! Keith and I looked at each other and called out to Lisa who was on the back porch. We told her what we saw and she was happy to hear about it – it means important changes are happening in my cervix so things were moving along. Right then I’m hit by a really powerful contraction that causes me to begin moaning. Wow! Things are REALLY picking up. This was intense. It was a long and hard one that really took my breath away. It ended and gave me a short rest, but very quickly another one came along. Suddenly my contractions were maybe 3 minutes apart and lasting 90 seconds or so. At this point Lisa called Liz and told her to head on up because the birth was going to happen in the next few hours (but little did we know)…

Keith helped me back to the tub and I got hit by another contraction right as I was getting in. This was the worst one so far because I was caught mid-motion and not prepared. It was just so intense! The contractions were really coming on top of each other now. I felt like I was getting very little rest in between. Lisa realized things were moving faster than we all thought so she began breaking out all her equipment and getting things ready for the actual birth. As I heard her bustling around, I realized I was going to be having this baby really soon. She wasn’t in here working with me because she had some serious setup to do before we were caught off-guard with a baby on its way out. This realization was a bit scary for me – these contractions were so intense and giving me very little break. How much worse was it going to get? I was afraid…I really wanted things to slow down just a little so I could feel more in control, but it was well beyond my control at this point. I start feeling nauseous and puked in the bucket again. Puking and contracting at the same time – no fun! We’d started putting hot water back in the tub again, but suddenly I was too hot. It wasn’t much longer before I was too cold again, and then I was too hot again. My body was going crazy.

7:50 pm – Steph and Ang come back (I’m only vaguely aware of this) and hear things have really sprung into action. They man their cameras and help where they can. I’m totally absorbed by the contractions. Ever since getting in the tub, Keith as been right here with me telling me how great I’m doing. I’m of course saying I can’t do this anymore and I want it to stop, but Keith is telling me I am doing it and that soon our baby will be here.

Keith: Things are getting really intense, but by now, that’s a relief for me. It’s becoming obvious that this is really going to happen. I feel completely in the moment and continue to encourage Chris. Even though the intensity continues to ramp-up, at no point does anything feel ‘wrong’. Chris seems to dissolve into the effort and we both become singularly focused on the incredible energy that is building fast.

Christine: I can’t believe I’m saying I can’t do this…I know in my mind there is no turning back, but still I find the words coming out of my mouth. I also get overwhelmed with all the people in the room, so Steph and Ang stay in the doorway (but smartly keep videoing cause I definitely wanted to have this on tape). Right around this time, I go from sitting to kneeling with my arms on the side of the tub and suddenly I feel my body pushing. It feels like I really need to take a dump, but that the dump is the size of a cannonball. My body is pushing hard! I yell out “push” and “burn”…it is all I can say at the time. Lisa tells me to reach down and see what I can feel. I can’t really tell – everything feels very swollen down there. The contractions are still right on top of each other and now my body has started pushing the baby out with no assistance from me. I’m trying to breath and relax as best I can through it, but I wasn’t assisting with any pushing on my own. Each contraction had 3 or so major pushes within it. It was all happening so fast. Lisa reached down and checked for what she could feel. She instructed me that in this position, it was very important to keep my butt down in the water as the baby was coming out. The baby couldn’t be lifted out of the water until she was completely out of me, so I had to help keep her under. My moans turn into roars and nearly into screams. I can’t control anything…it just comes out of my mouth as the baby is being pushed out of my body. The power of my body is beyond my wildest dreams. With each push, I can feel things getting lower and lower. At one point, it feels like she is stuck behind something but I think it was just her head sliding behind my pubic bone. The burning I felt continues to grow with each push. Lisa can feel the baby’s head. With the next push, she is totally crowning. She sits like this as one contraction goes away, so I get to feel the crowning sensation for about a minute or so. It is intense – not really painful but more like major stretching. At this point though, I know the baby is coming out very quickly and without adequate time to stretch, it was likely I was going to tear. With the next contraction comes another involuntary push and I ROAR as the head comes out. A few seconds later the next push brings out more of her body. It feels crazy to feel this baby sliding out. The contraction ends before she is totally out though so Lisa instructs me to give another push and I do. This is the first push that I actually participate in. And with that, she slides out.

8: 03 pm – Ava Skye is born. Relief! I feel my belly totally deflate at that moment as both the baby and all the amniotic fluid dump out of my uterus. My water never breaks – as best we can tell, the baby come out still partly wrapped in the amniotic sac. I’m just hanging onto the tub trying to catch my breath. Lisa tells me to come back and sit down and as I do that, she brings the baby under my leg and up out of the water. She is here! We quickly discover the cord is very short, so I need to keep my butt angled up towards the surface of the water so that Ava is up high enough to keep her head well above the water. It is uncomfortable, especially since the cord is tugging on what I think is some torn flesh below, but with the baby in my arms it doesn’t seem so bad. She is so beautiful. She is blue to start but lets out a cry very quickly and pinks up with in a minute or so. She is slippery – she’s absolutely covered in vernix. She looks around a little, cries, coughs, and just moves her body. The 1 minute Apgar is 8 and the 5-minute is 10. All I can say is “Hi” over and over and over again. I can’t believe she has come out of me and that she was born right here in her very own room. It all seems very surreal. Did I just give birth to this beautiful creature? Why does it all seem like a dream? While we are all sitting there gawking at the baby, Lisa is checking her over and making sure everything is alright. The other midwife Liz never made it…I went from the start of transition to delivering the baby in just 30 minutes. Talk about intense!

The next hour is spent admiring the baby and delivering the placenta. First we wait for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting. It takes a little while (15-20 minutes?) so I’m sitting uncomfortably holding Ava above the water. She opens her eyes and looks around quite a bit. The cord finally stops pulsing and Keith cuts it, which is a bit of challenge because it is so tight. Once it is cut she is shortly lifted up out of the water and handed to Keith.

Keith: I’m still in awe at the arrival of our daughter. I was happy to cut the cord, feeling in a small way that I helped bring her into the world. Up until the last few pushes, I hadn’t really thought about the fact that we would have a little baby on our hands. The birth was all consuming. I’m feeling torn between looking Ava over and staying present with Chris and her afterbirth. It quickly becomes clear that the placenta is being stubborn and Lisa’s concern is apparent. My attention stays with Chris until it’s really over and we can both relax. The baby is so peaceful and calm, we hand her around to Steph and Ang. First things first, we focus on the bleeding and delivering the placenta.

I have a separation bleed (meaning the placenta has now become detached from the uterus) and we decide I’ll get out of the tub to try and deliver the placenta on the birthing stool. It takes a minute to set this up and I bleed quite a bit during that time turning the tub water crimson red. Once I’m out on the stool I get the baby back and try to get her to feed to help my cramping. After a bit I feel some cramping and try to push. I push fairly hard and a large pool of blood with lots of clots (some as large as my hand) comes spilling out. Yikes! We sit and wait for more cramps, but there just aren’t many. Lisa gives me an herb to encourage cramping. Another one comes, I push, and nothing comes out. We decide to move to the toilet so Ava goes to Daddy. At this point I realized Lisa’s attention was no longer on the baby. The baby was fine. Her attention was on me – I needed to get this placenta out because I was bleeding quite a bit. Walking to the toilet is amusing with Lisa helping me and holding a pad under me. I get really faint on the toilet though. My vision gets a little blurry and I see stars. Apparently I look really pale too. We decide I need to be on the bed so we move on in there and I feel a bit better. Next time I feel a cramp, I push with all my might and finally the placenta comes spilling out. Wow…that was difficult, and it took an hour! If it hadn’t come out on that contraction, we were going to resort to a shot of pitocin (helps uterine cramping) to work on getting it out. I bleed a bit more after the placenta was out but it slows down relatively quickly as my uterus cramps down. It took me an hour and LOTS of pushing to deliver the placenta, while the baby only took 15 minutes and no active pushing on my part. How odd the body works sometimes…

Later, we checks for tears and Lisa gives me 4 stitches in my left inner labia…not a very comfortable experience. I’m glad my perineum has stayed intact though, which I consider pretty amazing since Ava shot out so quickly. The tear I did get was just on the surface so it didn’t involve any muscles and will heal very quickly. Ava is sitting in my arms for a lot of it, but also visiting Keith, Angela, and Stephanie. We also examine the placenta and amniotic sac, which we keep and plan to bury under a tree on our first anniversary. Lisa looks very carefully over everything and it looks like everything did come out. She guesses that the reason it took an hour to deliver the placenta was because though most of it detached shortly after the birth, there is an odd-shaped lobe of the placenta that probably just held on for a really long time. Lisa takes me to the bathroom again to make sure I am able to pee (after birth, sometimes it can be very difficult to pee and occasionally a catheter is needed) – it takes some effort and I poop in the process, but eventually I pee and we are all happy. I stay on the bed for the rest of the evening while the others clean up and bring me food and beverages. I’m finally hungry! We had bought a cake from our favorite cake-maker and frozen it for Ava’s birth, but I wasn’t quite ready for all that sugar. It was saved for the next day. Next it is time for Ava’s check-up with the midwife and her weighing. She looks so tiny but she comes in at 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches long. Overall, she looks perfectly healthy and happy to be here. We then called our families and some time after midnight, Lisa left us with our new daughter.

Some of the coolest things I liked about my birth:
Of course, being at home the whole time
Wearing my own clothes and being on my own couch
Never riding in the car
Having the midwife come to me
No vaginal exams (none for the entire pregnancy)
No IV
No interference
No pushing on my part – my body did everything!
The baby came out in her sac as best we can tell – my water never broke
Ava being born in her own room
No suctioning of the baby after birth – she spit everything up just fine
Delayed cutting of the cord, despite it being very short length
No separation of Mom, Dad, and baby
Immediate help with breastfeeding
Cuddling in my own bed with my new family

Next time, I’ll be more mentally prepared for the possibility of a long birth. I think with the confidence of having had a natural, drug-free homebirth under my belt, the next one won’t seem so scary. So was it painful? Yes, but it was a good pain. And more than pain, it was just a lot of work and stretching muscles. And in the end, it gave Keith and I a perfect little Ava Skye.

Daycare or No?

After repeated little breakdowns about stress over finishing school in a more timely manner, we are now considering daycare again. I just don't feel like I'm getting enough done, and at this pace think the pain of stretching things out over the next 6-12 months far outweighs the pain of being away from my kids for a few hours more each week. We've got some decisions to make about this daycare plan though.

Right now, Ava goes to Grandma & Grandpa's house 2.5 days a week. Prior to last week, Alder was home with me all week. This meant I squeezed my work in while he was napping, or while he was nursing with my boppy pulled up to the computer desk. It works, but only marginally. It is not a very effective or efficient way to make progress. As of last week, Keith and I have started splitting care 2 days a week. I go to school for 4 hours in the morning, and then we switch and he goes for the afternoons. He's able to do this with his job by working 10 hours the other 3 days of the week, and taking 5 hours of vacation. But that still only give me a total of 8 hours per week of dedicated work time (and that assumes I woke up on time and got to school by 9). We've also discussed me going in for 4 hours on Sundays, but so far it hasn' t happened due to yard projects that have Keith out breaking a sweat. So we are faced with requiring extra help to get me done with school.

Ava used to go to a daycare we are quite fond of. It happens to be a 5 minute walk from my building, so if we put Alder in there, I could walk down and nurse him during lunch. We're thinking about putting him there on the same days that Ava is at Grandma & Grandpa's. We'd start with shortish days of maybe 5 hours and work up as we all got comfortable with the situation. Another option, that would save us $450 a month, is Grandma & Grandpa taking both kids for 5 hours 3 days a week. So between those 15 hours (really 13 after the driving time is sucked out) and the additional 8 I could get from Keith, plus the Sundays, that gets me up to 25 hours/week. That isn't too bad. If I was SUPER DUPER efficient, it just might work. I'm on a bit of a time clock here and am REALLY hoping to finish in December. But that will require a large dose of luck and lots of cooperation from people who don't necessarily need to cooperate.

Anyway, we've got some thinking to do.

Infant Sleep

One-handed typing here, and it is 5 am.

One of the hardest parts if having a baby is the sleep deprivation. Ava was a really bad sleeper when she was a little baby, though she punctuated her nights with occasional 8-hour stretches just to torture you and show you she could do it. Alder started out a much better sleeper than Ava was at this early age, but over the last 3 months things seemed to be getting worse. Until 2 days ago, that is. Miraculously, he has pulled out two almost-7-hour stretches the last 2 nights. And tonight it was 6 hours. Three days in a row of good sleep is pretty incredible. It gives me hope that perhaps I will sleep 8 consecutive hours again in my life. It might still be several months, but it will happen. I've noticed good infant sleep comes and goes in waves. The good days are followed by a wave of (very) bad days in my experience, and then you get back to good. Those bad days (nights) are just sheer torture. Some nights I'm lucky to get 3 hours at a time, and the night will be punctuated by awake crying sessions up to 4 hours in length. Damn those nights are painful. Good thing the baby is cute.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Doula Meeting

Tonight was a great night. Tonight I hosted a meeting of local doulas at my house, and it was wonderful. There were 13 doulas here, one of whom is also a homebirth midwife and one of whom is also an L&D nurse, plus another midwife who catches babies at our local hospital. At every meeting (we have these every month), I always walk away with a renewed enthusiasm for birth work. The energy is so loving and positive. And we usually tell birth stories too. Some of these women are becoming my true friends. And one of them was at my birth with Alder.

Tonight's primary areas of discussion were advertising funds and hearing from the hospital midwife about doula relations with doctors and nurses. The advertising issue is really important to most of us, as this is how we primarily attract clients. With 17 doulas in Corvallis right now (and still growing), we can't all create fliers and have them sit on the obstetrician's desk. So the doulas of Corvallis came together and created a network that could advertise as a group and develop our own website. We have much greater power and influence as a group too. Since forming just 18 months ago, doulas have become much more accepted in our hospital. The word is getting out about the wisdom of having a doula.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

More Cute Kids

Breakfast with the whole family:




Did Somebody Have a Baby?

We had dinner at Keith's parent's house last night, and there were soooo many family members there, it was a little terrifying to our toddler. As customary, the very old and the very young are the guests of honor, so it was Ava, Alder, and Keith's grandma Pat that shared the spotlight. It was lovely to see so much of Keith's family, though I do wish we could see them all a bit more often, and in smaller groups. With 20 people in the room, all of whom you owe a conversation to, you end up talking to no one and feeling bad about it.

Let me see if I can get all the family straight here. We had:
Keith
Ava
Alder
Linda (Keith's mom)
Ron (Keith's dad)
Kari (Keith's sister)
Kristi (Keith's sister)
Pat (Keith's grandma, aka Ron's mom)
Dave (Keith's uncle, aka Ron's brother)
Lorri (Keith's aunt, married to Dave)
Haley (Keith's cousin, daughter of Dave and Lorri)
Karly (ditto)
Lexy (ditto)
Don (Keith's uncle, aka Linda's brother)
Mary Fran (Keith's aunt, married to Don)
Donna (Keith's cousin, daughter of Don and Mary Fran)
Sean (married to Donna's daughter Maureen, who was absent)
Other nameless woman (?)
Tabitha (Keith's cousin twice removed, daughter of Sean)
Cassie? (ditto)

I can't even recall if I'd met all these family members before. Some of them I do remember seeing very briefly at our wedding (very briefly because the other 130 guests were also flashing before my eyes). It was just a bit nuts. And Ava agreed. She screamed and wanted to hide when the full force of all that family were crammed into one room, all wanting to see her. After half the party had left, she got a bit more accustomed to Keith's family, and even danced on command. Some of Keith's cousins are young (under 10 years old for a few of them), so Ava had some friends she could play with and dance for. Alder spent a good half of the evening attached to my breast, and because I would never hide myself while breastfeeding, Keith's family all got to witness it. Thankfully they all seemed okay with Alder's choice of food, or at least they didn't berate me in front of the group.

Karly, Dave, Grandma Pat with Alder, and Lexy:
Karly and Alder (I love this picture): Grandma Pat with Alder and Ava:
Alder getting some standing assistance:
Ron and Kari getting Alder started on reading already:

Fish Funeral

He doesn't look too good, does he? While nursing Alder in the middle of the night, I caught a glimpse of this flailing, silver flash of light in our fish tank. By morning, he was gone. It is a sad day in our home. You see, we've had fish for a long time. We've had THIS fish for a long time. He lived in our 72 gallon tank with lots of his buddies, who unfortunately have been biting the dust one-by-one over the last month or so. But this was the first BIG fish to go. And I do mean BIG.

That is him measuring a cool 10 inches and weighing 9 ounces. That doesn't sound very big, but I promise you, put it in a fish tank in your home, and that is HUGE! This was a tinfoil barb, and we do have one more in the tank still who is a tiny bit smaller. Unfortunately he is showing the same disease this one succumbed to, and though I've dosed the tank with an anti-bacterial, I don't have much hope for him. It looks ugly. With the two largest fish in our tank gone, we are now contemplating moving the remaining fish to a smaller tank and placing it in a more central location in our home. Right now, the 72 gallon tank is in a corner, behind an exercise machine, behind baby gates. 72 gallon tanks don't get moved much (ever), so it is just sitting where we put it when I moved in the house 4 years ago. It would be nice to have the fish out where they could be seen and enjoyed more.

So I'll be watching the tank to see when the other tinfoil barb bites the dust. And for those sports fans wondering, fish of this size don't fit down the toilet.

Friday, August 10, 2007

TEETHING!

Aha! She's teething! This is the source of the crazy poop we've been seeing for a week or so. It was starting to get me concerned, as my daughter is not usually this kind of pooper. But then today I got a little glimpse in her mouth, and when asked, she opened it up wide for me. She has all 4 canines coming in at the same time. OUCH! No wonder her insides are all screwed up. This makes me feel so much better (that I know what the problem is, not that my daughter is in terrible gum pain).

The realization that Ava is teething has made me consider whether Alder is teething too. He is a bit young, but this is about when Ava turned on the drool too. And today he made mince meat out of my knuckle when I offered it to him. So tonight they've both been dosed with Motrin. We'll see if it provides me with any more sleep. And with that, I'm off to bed.

Back at School!

I like the smaller type better I think.

Yesterday I went to school, by myself, for the first time since just hours before I went into labor in May. I was there for a whole FOUR hours, and it was glorious. I had a huge grin on my face as I walked in the door. I got soooo much done in those 4 hours, despite the 30 minutes I had to take to pump milk in the middle. I felt like an ADULT. Man, I loved it. And I was ready to nurse my baby when I came home. I wish I could steal 3-4 stretches of dedicated worktime more often. I think my progress with school would be much faster with dedicated time.

So school...you may be wondering what I'm doing in school. I'm a few months away from finishing my PhD in Forest Resources. If I didn't have kids, I'd be done already. Instead, I'm raising a beautiful family and finishing the last of my PhD on the side. I'm hoping to be done this fall, because every extra term is paid for out of our pocket, and with no income from me, it hurts. Though I'm in forestry, I don't actually mess around with trees in my research. I'm a social scientist, which means I talk to people about trees. My dissertation research is on citizen-agency (Forest Service, BLM) interactions in planning and decision-making after large wildfires in the West. Pardon the pun, but it is definitely a HOT topic.

This fall marks the start of my 5th year working on this degree. My first year I worked on an unrelated project that was good experience but didn't exactly get my dissertation work going. I also met my future husband that year and was engaged by spring. The following year we got married and were pregnant shortly after. My third year in school started with the birth of my daughter. I took my prelims at the end of that year and completed most of my research the next, with my second child growing inside me at the time. And here I am, finishing my fourth year, finishing the analysis and writing, and caring for a nearly-3-month old and toddler at the same time. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I think most everyone at school thinks I am too. But you know, babies come when they come and we love them more than anything else. School will come.

Right now I'm really excited to be working again. I am so close to being done I can taste it. I have a lot of hard work to go, but after 4 years of hard work, knowing you have only months to go...ahhh. Speaking of which, I should be working right now.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Picture Posting Test

Just testing to see how this picture posting thing works. Figured you could enjoy my kids in the process. That above is one of Alder's first smiles we caught on camera. And Ava below is sporting one of my favorite outfits for her - awesome orange overall shorts. Okay, now I REALLY do have to go to bed. Alder will be up in 2 hours for a snack.

Two Toddlers

Just a quick note to say that yesterday ROCKED because our buddies Franny and Max (just 23 days older than my Ava) came to visit. Not only is it awesome to see Franny, my friend for 12+ years (oh my god), my mother companion, my moved-across-the-country-at-the-same-time buddy, it is just amazing to see Max and Ava falling in love together. I think they are best buddies. They TRULY play together. It is awesome. We broke out Ava's new birthday present, which is a giant system of pop-up houses and tunnels akin to a gerbil maze. They loved it...until my toddler pooped in it (potty training in progress here). Then they still loved it after we cleaned the mess. I can't wait to see these two toddlers grow up together. Franny and I talked about the growing up part, and how they'll probably hang out, attend parties together, and possibly (gasp!) even hook up at some point. Yeah, the conversation ended right there.

One Hand

Typing with one hand really stinks. There will be some days my posts are short and to the point. It is probably because I'm typing with one hand, which is quite common for a mom of an infant. But I hate typing with one hand. Sometimes I'd rather not say anything if it has to be said with one hand. Today was a day like that - most of the day I had only one hand. Now I have two hands, but I'm tired, my kids are asleep, and I need to go to bed.

Tomorrow is my first day back at school in the literal sense. I'm actually going to school for 4 hours in the morning. Keith is staying home with both kids, which is a huge experiment in its own. I'm so darn excited about 4 straight hours all to myself though. It will probably be the 4 most productive hours of my life (or seem that way). It just boggles the mind what I could do in 4 hours with no children at my ankles. I'll update tomorrow on how the day went, both for me and for Keith.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Two Progeny

I am a mother before I am anything else. I have been a mother for exactly 2 years and 12 days. Well, at least that is how long my first child has been on the outside. I suppose pregnancy adds considerable time to that. It is hard to remember the days before I became a mother. I had 29+ years of having no progeny of my own, so you'd think it was more memorable. I guess it isn't that my time without children wasn't memorable, but that my time as a mother has absorbed nearly every inch of my brain. I guess that is how our children ensure we love them forever - if they occupy every part of our memory, who can we remember how fun life was back when we could stay up late with other adults.

I have two children. My first, a girl named Ava, is now a rambunctious and curious 2-year old. She speaks in complex sentences and has real emotions, opinions, and an impressive memory. I can't believe she is such a big kid now. My second, a boy named Alder, is nearly 3 months old. He's grinning and grabbing for toys now. He's also not sleeping much at the moment. Good thing he's grinning. We planned them close together. I love my children more than I ever dreamed I would. I can't wait to see them every morning. I value my time away from them too though, but mostly because it makes me appreciate them so much more when I come home. We hope to add two more children to our family in the next few years.

I guess you could say I'm a stay-at-home mom right now. I don't have a job exactly, but I'm not home with them 7 days a week. I am a part-time graduate student, trying to finish up my PhD (see a future Student post). Ava goes to G&G's house (that is short for Grandma & Grandpa) a couple of days a week so I can focus more on school. It is much easier to write my dissertation from home when I only have to care for the not-yet-3-month old. Getting work done with a toddler in the house just doesn't happen. A couple of mornings a week my husband also stays home with them so I can run into school and make an appearance in my building. On days I have both kids, we typically hit the library, the pool, the park, the grocery store...anything to keep the toddler busy and make sure she naps.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Testing...

Testing...testing... Am I still here? Have I survived the arrival of child #2? Can I make an honest attempt at this blogging thing now? Time will tell.