Freaking out

The end of my life in school is near, and it has me thinking constantly about what I will do next. If all goes well, I'll be defending my dissertation in as little as six weeks. My last (little tiny) paycheck as a graduate research assistant comes at the end of March. Then what? The answer is...I still don't know. My advisor may have work for me. I've asked him about it in the past, but he's been unwilling to discuss it until we knew when I would finally finish the degree. I think we could discuss it now...I just need to get up the guts. There is also a chance he won't have anything for me, as I recently learned he hired another friend (who is significantly cheaper than I would be). If I can't work for him, then what? Perhaps another professor will have work, but it is unlikely. Ideally I'd like 10-20 hours per week and I don't really need benefits, so I'm really not THAT expensive, but my field is not funded as much as it should be.

If I don't work at school, then I really don't know what I'd do. Stay home with the kids while I search for something else? I'd like to avoid pulling the kids out of daycare if I can help it, as it was hard enough to get them in that place. I definitely don't want something full-time, and it shouldn't be too permanent, as we plan on me needing another maternity leave or two in the next couple of years. I've been browsing tenure-track faculty positions around the country, and a few things have caught my eye. But I'm just not ready for that yet. I hope I can find something come spring though. I like to have my mind challenged a few hours a week, by something other than playing Scrabble I mean.